Yay for YA

Yesterday I confessed something on twitter, and I feel the need to share it here, too.

I love young adult fiction.

There. I said it.

(Though if you've been paying attention to this blog, it's not really a secret.)

Harry Potter , The Twilight Saga , Percy Jackson and the Olympians , and The Hunger Games: all of these novels make me swoon. Make me happy. Make me sit on the couch for hours reading and wishing that I was a wizard who's parent is a Greek God and who has a beautiful vampire who will save me from the evil government that is trying to kill me in the Hunger Games.

I know I'm not the only one. We all have a guilty pleasure that makes us question our sanity. We all have something that we love, something that we feel a little weird sharing with others.

I admit that I feel a tiny bit ashamed to say that I'd much rather read a book written for a 14-year-old than a Jane Austen novel (unless it has zombies).

Shouldn’t I be reading something that’s full of words that I don’t know? Shouldn’t I be struggling through something written by a famous guy who died two centuries ago? Shouldn’t I be reading something that’s teaching me things other than the politics of werewolves and vampires, or the magical charm for unlocking a door?

Sure, often times I'm happy to pick up a book that's little more intellectual, a little more complicated, a little more appropriate for my age. But the truth is that I like to read for fun. I like to read to escape. I like to read because it's entertaining. I like to read to imagine. A lot of young adult fiction has all of this, and a lot of young adult fiction is written by amazing storytellers. And there's nothing wrong with liking that.

(Right?)

So, I'm asking you: what is your guilty pleasure. Is it trashy reality TV? Romance novels? Tabloid magazines? Justin Bieber?

You don't have to be ashamed. I won't make fun of you.

(At least not to your face.)

PS: If your guilty pleasure includes drama and awesomeness in the female blogging community, check out She Posts. I have a huge bloggy crush on the editor, Esther, and I'm running their twitter account. So why wouldn't you check it out?

Best of 09: Person

I am listening to Mike play a violent war game on his computer. The sounds of gun fire and screaming soldiers is filling my house - and heart - with so much extra holiday cheer. It's truly magical.

December 20th: New Person. She came into your life and turned it upside down. He went out of his way to provide incredible customer service. Who is your unsung hero of 2009?

I've been sitting here forever, and I've come up with so many people. I think about the woman who said hello to me in the elevator when I first got to Blissdom, or the lady who offered me a seat at her table in a crowded hotel restaurant.

I think about the people who talked to me at parties, made me laugh, invited me out for drinks.

And those are just the people who's hands I actually gotten to shake. I've met even more online, and I feel like I know them just as well, if not better, than a lot of the people I've talked with in person.

There are too many new people in 2009. I can't pick one, and you can't make me. If you said a kind word to me, talked to me on Twitter, commented on this blog, played me in Words with Friends... you're my people.

Thanks.

For 2010, though, I'm going to be keeping score.

(5 points for complimenting my outfit, 10 for buying me cake on a stick, and 15 if my dogs like you.)

(Bonus points if you're Team Edward.)

Best of 09: Favorite Book(s)

I'm kicking ass and taking names on this whole Best of 2009 Blog Challenge. I've made it two days, which is some sort of personal best.

I should get a medal... or a cookie.

At least a cookie.

December 4th: Book. What book - fiction or non - touched you? Where were you when you read it? Have you bought and given away multiple copies?

My goal for this year was to read 50 books. I am on my 43rd.

(Therefore, December is also dubbed "Don't bother Ally because she has a god damn goal to finish".)

The books that I've read this year have varied from classics and great works of literature to overrated best-sellers and trashy fantasy.

My favorite? I can't list one. Thankfully, I've kept track of all of the books that I've read since January 1st, so I'll list the ones that stand out to me the most.

Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl - This is a book that I've thought a lot about. I didn't love it at first, but it's grown on me a lot.

Bright Lights, Big Ass by Jen Lancaster - I finished this book at Blissdom, hours before I actually met Jen. It was a hilarious book, and my copy now holds a note from the author herself.

Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons - I'm a twelve year old boy.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith - AWESOME. It's romantic and full of zombie killing mayhem. What could be bad?

The Hunger Games and Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins - I read The Hunger Games in 2008 and it instantly earned a spot on my "favorite books of all time" shelf. This year, the sequel, Catching Fire, came out, so I read them both. Sooooo good.

The Fever Series by Karen Marie Moning - These books are kept in the romance section at the bookstore, so if you see someone ducking into that section with sunglasses, an over sized parka and a wig, it might be me. But shame cannot keep me from these trashy sci-fi stories.

The Twilight Saga - 1) Since 2007, I've read the series four times (only once this year). 2) It's still awesome. 3) TEAM EDWARD. 4) Duh.

I'm in the process of finishing The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. It's absolutely amazing and certainly earns a spot on this list.

These books have been given as gifts, shared with family and friends, blogged about, or discussed in front of a hundred fellow geeks.

Now leave me alone... I have a New Year's Resolution to finish up.

Fighter

I learned something today.

When you send out a tweet or status update about attacking people, soon all you can do is think about attacking people.

I sent this out this afternoon:

Woman across from me at coffee shop has her pepper spray on the table. My plans to attack her have been destroyed. Today is a total waste.

Followed by this tweet 5 minutes later:

Not that I *wanted* to attack anyone, but now it's a little sad that the option isn't even there... #atleastImakemyselflaugh

And now it's been half an hour and I've spent the whole time staring at people wondering if I could take 'em out in a fight.

(I blame this on the fact that I just re-read The Twilight Saga (again) and have super strong vampires on the brain, and therefore wish that *I* was super strong... and possibly a vampire... shut up.)

(PS: IloveEdwardCullenOhMyGOD.)

(Don't tell Mike that... he's fairly annoyed with my undying love for a fictional vampire whose biggest fault is that he cares too much.)

(... MUST FOCUS...)

I have come to the conclusion that the majority of the patrons here would probably overtake me. Except for that 5 year old over there crying because his mom won't get him a cupcake (bitch)... or that dude in the over-sized cowboy hat. Either would probably be a fair match in a fight.

Maybe I should start putting my pepper spray on the table? And nunchucks... and at least one ninja throwing star (two would be tacky).

Then that 5 year old wouldn't stand a chance.

(Word of advice? Don't listen to Lady Gaga in public. It makes you dance and then your lethal aura is totally screwed. No amount of nunchucks and throwing stars can make up for a Lady Gaga performance (no matter how kick ass it is) in public.)

(I'm pretty sure no vampire would make that mistake.)

(You think I'm a loser for listening to Lady Gaga? Come on over here... I'll show you my nunchucks up close.)

(That was mean... if you're reading this blog I wouldn't attack you. I love you.)

(Wait?! I'm not a loser for loving Lady Gaga, but I am one for being madly in love obsessed appropriately interested in Twilight? I will DESTROY YOU.)

(Wow. That was totally uncalled for. I'm so, so sorry... sorta.)

(I think the five year old and the guy in the cowboy hat are plotting against me... or it's the caffeine affecting my judgment... hard to tell.)

(Or maybe they like my Poker Face performance? I think I need to leave.)

Lady Gaga |MTV Music

Fit or Fail: But not Really Edition

It's 11:16 PM on Sunday, and I JUST realized that I hadn't written a Fit or Fail post! So here I am... but I don't really have much to say...

I'm working on getting my workout routine turned up a notch (enter weight training) (enter pain) (enter tears), so that's a FIT...

I'm having trouble with eating only good stuff... so FAIL.

So we're one and one!

(Looking on the bright side, people...)

Other than that... we'll just have to see for this week.

Also, I am totally going to post the winner from last week's contest. I want to do it as a video (so y'all can't accuse me of cheating or being unfair... and so you can see Bonnie and Hannah's terrible haircuts), and I just borrowed a working camera, so I'll post it soon!

Otherwise, since this is so lame... here:



You're welcome...

Fit or Fail: Inspiration Edition

My friend Jeannie is totally making me look bad.

(She just can't help it...)

And it's not just because of the usual reasons (she's smart, pretty, and ALWAYS happy)...

First, you need some background.

Jeannie has two arthritic knees and a blood clot in her leg. These problems have lead to a lot of physical and emotional pain.

But she still manages to be positive and happy.

And you know what she did on Friday?

Ran six miles.

Me: Wait a second... SIX miles... non-stop?

Jeannie: Well, I walk for about 5 minutes in the middle, you know, to try and get the feeling back in my foot... but yeah... six miles.

Me: What the fuck, Jeannie? How is that even possible?

(I'm not a complete asshole. Seriously. I have just been a witness to many painful breakdowns because of her myriad of leg related health problems.)

Jeannie: I don't know... but I'm fine doing it. I go really slow, though.

Me: Jeannie, I just made it to 30 minutes on the elliptical, and I can't run for more than 3 minutes at a time... and I have FAKE arthritis in my knees!

(I told the doctor that I think that I have arthritis because my knees hurt. She told me I was just lazy... awesome.)

So Jeannie is officially AMAZING and I am... well... not.

Seriously, the girl never gives up. And she's never let some stupid blood clot keep her from participating in life.

(Sure, that 5K we did made her bed-ridden for 48 hours, but she still kicked ass at it.)

Later we were talking about The Biggest Loser.

Me: I don't like it because instead of being inspirational it just makes me sad because all of those 300 pound people can do more than me.

Jeannie: NO! When I'm on the treadmill I think, "If that 400 pound guy can run for HOURS, then I can go another mile..."

Me: Fine... so when I'm on the treadmill I should just think, "If Jeannie can run six miles, SO CAN I!"

Jeannie: EXACTLY!

Me: Great. You are officially my 400 pound dude.

Jeannie: YES!

So I tried it...

(Despite my feelings about running...)

I went to the gym the next morning and got on that treadmill.

(I asked Jeannie how she started this whole super routine and she said she started by running a mile...)

(Seemed a little ambitious to me... but oh well.)

So I started the treadmill (after warming up on the trusty elliptical) and ran... for three minutes.

Then I walked for three minutes.

Then I ran for three minutes.

And I continued until I reached a mile.

And the whole time I just kept reminding myself that I could do it. I could be like my awesome, wonderful friend Jeannie.

(I might have also cursed her name a few times... but that's the lack of oxygen talking...)

I'm not there... but someday we're both going to be going for the same "I love Edward Cullen" t-shirt and I will have be faster than her.

So I'll keep trying.

And I am VERY proud of you, Jeannie.

(I'm also proud of myself because I was going to make a bunch of jokes about how Jeannie is from Kansas and people from Kansas only run when the cows get out of the corral... but I didn't... because I'm respectful.)

(Wait a sec...)

(I know this wasn't a normal Fit or Fail post... but I'm hoping it will lead to some more FITs for my future lists...)

Coming Out

This week is the awesome Conference on World Affairs at CU Boulder.

It's pretty much just a gathering of hundreds of experts in all sorts of subjects from all over the world who sit on panels about all sorts of topics.

(It also draws an amazing amount of senior citizens... who stop in the middle of the sidewalk to yell about those "damn skateboarding college punks"... which just isn't safe... seriously, I almost walked into about a dozen of them... and these people are not very stable... they would go down like a bag of... old person... anyway...)

It's free and open to the public (enter dangerous senior citizens...), and because nobody wants to hire me I'm taking some time off, I finally have the time to go to some of the panels.

I've been to panels about literature, journalism, and writing.

Some were good, others were so-so.

(Meaning some kept my attention for over an hour... and I politely ducked out of others.)

But today I went to a WONDERFUL panel called "Geek Culture: Sci-Fi, Superhero Movies and Comic Books". The panel included Jim Emerson, Robert George, and Andy Ihnatko.

(Self-admitted SUPER-GEEKS from the film, journalism, and technology worlds.)

I went on a whim because I heard Andy speak in an earlier panel and really enjoyed what he had to say...

(Aka: he made me laugh.)

I also went because I was curious.

I've previously written about how I love superhero movies and how I encountered an identity crises after reading and loving The Watchmen.

So the title spoke to my inner-geek.

Well... I loved it. The panel was engaging, fun, and informative. I found it pretty crazy just HOW much I enjoyed it. I started to ask myself just how much of Ally B is considered to be "geek".

So I got up (in front of about 100 people) and asked the following question:

"I read The Watchmen and I loved it. But I sort of had an identity crises. I was like, 'Oh shit! Does this mean I'm a geek?' So, what defines someone as a geek? And is that definition expanding with technology and the internet because I get called a 'geek' for blogging and twittering... do you have to reach some level before your admitted to 'The Club'?"

During my question Robert George said that he loved "geek coming out stories" and Andy Ihnatko started a round of applause to "welcome me to the club".

(I felt like a superstar...)

Andy then said that being a "geek" is about being passionate about something - anything - and NOT CARING if people think your odd or "geeky" for that passion.

He then said, "You're in, babe."

(SUPERSTAR!!)

So I started thinking that maybe I truly am a "geek".

I love superhero movies and the graphic novels I've read have been extremely entertaining...

I get giddy talking about social media (Twitter, Facebook)...

I'm in love with a literary vampire...

I am a participant/host of a weekly screening of LOST...

I created my own superhero with a super STICK as my super weapon... (although that's not geeky... it's just logical...)

AND... I ran home to blog about this...

Yeah... I think I'm a geek.

So... I'm out of the closet. I'm free! I am a geek...

And I'm honored.

PS: When I got home I found that someone had Twittered this: "Girl read watchmen and liked it, and thought, oh shit now I'm a geek." Awesome...

PPS: Dad - When I mentioned the senior citizens I was NOT talking about you... you're not dangerous... you're cool...

Fit or Fail: World of Pain Edition

A very brief assessment of how I did on this past week's goals:

Eat healthier

• FIT: for the most part, I was very good! I ate NO Thin Mints!!

Work out four times

• FIT

Increase the weight of my strength training

• I tried to do at least one rep at a higher weight than I normally do... so FIT.

Interval train for my cardio

• This referred to the times that I went on the elliptical. I did interval training the first to times, but not today... you will soon learn why that was IMPOSSIBLE... so I'm calling this a FIT because I would have interval trained today if MY LEGS WORKED... again, more on that soon.

Eat on a more regular basis (aka, avoid that fainting feeling if at all possible)

• I'm still working on this one... I'm still learning the most appropriate way to spread my food out throughout the day... so it's a work in progress... but also a FAIL.

Move on my non-workout days (even if it's inside)

• I missed Wednesday. We were in the hospital all day, but it still makes it a FAIL. But the rest of the days I did very well, so I'm not beating myself up over it.

Convince Mike that me shoveling the snow really doesn't help ANYONE and that the job should either be his or outsourced to a teenager...

• The conversation hasn't come up... yet. Maybe I'll make a video about it...

Also, I get a FIT because I didn't make a whole birthday cake for Mike, and therefore didn't eat a whole birthday cake... we did have a treat (three cheers for donuts!), but I factored it into my daily calorie budget, so I'm not counting it as a fail...

NOW… the reason that was so brief is because I have something else VERY important to write about.

I am here to tell all of you to STAY AWAY from this machine:


Or it's cousin:
These are the hip abductor and adductor machines.

They should be torn apart and burned.

They should have a warning on them with a big picture of a crying vagina on them.

That's right... I said it.

In fact, I am now naming these machines the "VAGINA DESTROYERS"... complete with capital letters and angry red font.

(I know I could just say that these machines are responsible for intense groin pain... but I'm taking it to the next level because that's how I roll…)

So I used these horrible torture devices a couple of days ago and now I can't walk without looking like a duck... who was shot in the groin.

Seriously. This machine is pure evil.

It was probably invented by Lord Voldemort.

Or the Volturi.

Or republicans.

If I ever return to these damn machines (I'll have to gain function back in my lower extremities first...) I'll have to perform some sort of ritual with a burning sage stick, big drum, and possibly a medicine man, all in an effort to ward off all of the bad, vagina-hating spirits that obviously haunt them.

So, consider this my Public (Pubic?) Service Announcement...

(Goals for this week are to continue along the same path as last week. It seems to be working.)

(But with less duck walking... hopefully...)

(AND I should mention that I get a HUGE FIT for going and working out today, even though I could barely make it onto the elliptical machine...)

(I'm kind of amazing...)

In the Waiting Room...

Mike's dad is getting his knees replaced right now, so we're all at the hospital in Denver waiting.

I had this whole plan to ask him these life altering questions before he went into surgery, you know, to make him think about what's really important in his life, but it took TWO HOURS to get here.

(We didn't get lost... we just weren't going to right way...)

(I kept having to call my dad to ask him to be my IPhone and tell me where I was.)

(I want an IPhone.)

ANYWAY... I was not able to practice my amazing interview skillz, so I will ask Mike the questions that I wrote down, instead.

Question: Would you prefer to be a zombie or a werewolf?
Mike: A vampire because then you'd actually pay attention to me.

Question: What flavor of Jell-O would you be?
Mike: Lemon-Lime because I'm a little sour and a little sweet... even though those are both sour.

Question: A train is traveling at 60 miles per hour going west and another train is going 67 miles per hour east... what do you order for dinner?
Mike: Insufficient information is provided.
Me: Sorry, we were looking for Chicken Cordon Bleu as your answer. You fail.

Yeah... so it's a real shame that I wasn't able to ask his dad... maybe I'll ask him later... while he's on drugs.

In other news... I really don't like hospitals. They smell weird. And feel weird. And you have to be quiet. And they're boring.

Like, I really want to go find the "On-Call Room" because I watch Grey's Anatomy and Scrubs so I know that all of the hot doctors "play doctor" with each other in there... but every time I try to sneak around and find said room the old ladies who volunteer at the information desk give me dirty looks.

So I tried to army crawl past them and was hit by a wheel chair and the old ladies were like "what are you doing, young lady?" and I was like "looking for the hot doctors who are gettin' it on" and they said "where are your parents, young lady" and I was like "you sickos, I'm not going to see hot doctor sex with my PARENTS!"

Some people are SO rude...

So they asked me to leave and so I'm wandering around listening at all of the doors that look particularly romantic...

The doctor just came out and said that Mike's dad is doing great and has two new knees...

I wanted to ask him if he is now considered a cyborg or robot... but I'm already on thin ice with these people.

But I'm going to assume that yes, he is a robot now...

(Did I mention hospitals bore me?)

And They Say Romance is Dead...

Last night The Bloggess wrote about this guy who proposed to his lady friend through a blog.

(Cute? Romantic? Impersonal? Creepy? You decide...)

But part of the whole hoopla is that people are supposed to link to their blog with a story about their marriage/love/wedding.

Since I have never been married or had a wedding, I can't really participate in that.

But I do have love.

(Cue the vomit soundtrack...)

Seriously, though, Mike and I have been together for almost seven years... and to those who say that the romance has died, well...

A few weeks ago I was having a bad day and I was crying all morning for no particular reason.

Mike had been very sweet all morning. He hugged me, told me it was okay... tried to make me laugh.

It didn't work, because I kept crying.

(FAIL)

Seeing that this wasn't working, he tried a different approach.

Me: *starting to cry again*

Mike: NO! If you start crying I will slap the tears right off of your face!

Now that, my friends, is L-O-V-E.

(He didn't really slap me... it actually did work because I burst out laughing (you know, that awkward crying-snot-infested-laughing/choking), and the day got better after that...)

So... there is my love story... congrats to the happy couple...

(She said yes, btw.)

(PS: I was going to write this last night but Mike decided that we should get drunk and I said we should watch TWILIGHT and so we compromised and drank while watching TWILIGHT...)

(Now THAT is romantic...)

My Baby Brother is the big Two-One...

Dear Andrew Jay,

You're my brother!!

It's your birthday!!

You're 21!!

You're in Thailand!!

(I know that YOU know all of this... but I'm setting it up for my blog readers...)

(And I know that I could just email this to you personally... but I am whore for blog fodder...)

So, since you are not here with us, we will be having a party without you.

(You know our family... we never turn down an opportunity to party...)

Even the dogs will be there to celebrate.

(I just realized that there will actually be more dogs than people there... we're kind of pathetic.)

My idea: eat Thai food... since you're in Thailand... I thought I'd just clear that up in case you were confused because I want you to realize how much of a genius I am.

Mom's idea: make a cake and let Ally pick the flavor. Hell yes! I told her that I think that this should be the protocol for ALL future birthdays in the family... so we're having FUNFETTI cake with chocolate frosting. I will attempt to make a portrait of you on the cake with the frosting.

Mom's idea: she is getting ME a present for YOUR birthday... AGAIN, this should just be protocol for all birthdays... including national birthday holidays (like Lincoln's birthday... Washington's birthday...the Nation's birthday... and of course, Jesus' birthday). So I am getting THE TWILIGHT DVD for your birthday, so thanks for that.

(I heart Edward Cullen.)

My idea: since you're turning 21, one of us should get gratuitously drunk tonight.

Dad's idea: it should be Mom.

So, your party is really a group effort...

I'll take pictures for you to show all of your monk friends.

(Side note: Don't tickle a monk... unless they look sad... then the don't-tickle-a-monk rule is void.)

(I just made that up... I would double check on that, though...)

So, happy birthday!

I miss you so much, but I am so thrilled slash proud slash jealous that you are able to take this journey of yours.

(I'm like 90% thrilled and proud... 8% jealous... and 2% hungry... I heart Thai food...)

PS: I thought I would tell you that while writing this post I hit my knuckle on the table and it HURT and I screamed profanities in PUBLIC with CHILDREN around and MARK laughed at me and now my knuckle is all red and that is the FIRST SIGN of TRAUMA so I may not have a FINGER when you get back which will really suck because it's my pointer finger and I type with ONLY my pointer fingers (mostly... it drives Mike NUTS) so my BLOG will FAIL because I won't be able to type anymore... just so you know...

On My Own: Part Three (100th POST!!)

Oh my Brad... this is my 100th post!!

WooHoo!

I am blogtastic!

(That will be my opening line tomorrow when I meet all of the other bloggers. I should have brought a marker so that I could add it to my business cards...)

(Damn.)

So I gathered up my stuff and went downstairs and ran into this blogger and her adorable baby, and she told me that a bunch of people from the conference were putting together swag bags down the hall.

She was super sweet and said I could tag along, so I walked into the room with her and was greeted with about 2 dozen fellow bloggers.

Needless to say, although she was really nice to invite me, I just couldn't do it.

I froze up and spent the next 10 minutes wandering around the lobby trying to summon enough courage to go back into the conference room... but I ended up deciding to try and find some food, instead.

So I walked around outside and realized that the only business nearby is a Kaplan Career Services building.

(I figure that if I have some extra time on my hands I can swing by there and have them decide what I should do with my life...)

So I decided to be a coward and go back to my room to order room service.

(Apparently the only vegetarian meal that they have here in Tennessee is Eggplant Parmesan. Although it's a vegetable, I'm pretty sure deep frying the eggplant negates all health value.)

(But as a girl who has only eaten raisins and cherry sours all day, I'm not one to start lecturing the room service peoples...)

(And eggplant is pretty much only worth eating fried.)

When the room service man came in he said that I didn't have a lava lamp or a pet fish.

I was all, "um yeah... I left 'em at home... (*nervous laughter*)".

He then informed me that I could call the front desk and order a lava lamp or a pet fish.

So, as soon as he left I called Mike (for the 12th time in 3 hours... but this was the first time that I wasn't crying... so progress...) and told him that I could get my own lava lamp or rent-o-fish!

He asked me what I was going to get and I informed him that I didn't really feel comfortable ordering a lava lamp without a black light to go with it...

So I hung up and called the front desk.

Front Desk: This is Chad at the Front Desk, how may I help you?

Me: I was just informed that I could order a pet fish. (I sort of expect him to laugh at me and tell me that it was just a joke that the service staff play sometimes: Convince the Hotel Patrons to ask for Ridiculous Things - CTHPTAFRT for short.)

Front Desk: A pet fish? I'll check to see if we have any available and I will send one up. (How many other people in the hotel are as desperate for company as I am that their rent-o-fish supply is on backorder?)

I was SO excited that they weren't playing a prank on me and that I would have a new pet.

Soon, a nice lady delivered "George" to me.

He's a betta fighting fish (Mike informed me that they don't actually fight and I told him that if they had any extra I'd put them together to test the theory... maybe I'm not quite responsible enough to take care of George...) and red and so pretty. Honestly, "George" just doesn't quite cut it as the perfect fish name for such a beautiful creature.

Especially if he's mine (at least until Sunday).

He needs a sexy name... a little exotic...

Edward! Oh wait... this computer's name is Edward, so that doesn't work (don't want to cause any sort of Mac vs. fish rivalry)...

So I decide to name him "Desmond" because Desmond is one of the best LOST characters and he has a sexy accent... duh.

So I took a bunch of glamor shots of Desmond George McFishy (complete with feather boa) and was all excited to introduce him to the world (slash 25 people who read this blog)... when I noticed that the ONE computer component that I left at home was my camera card reader!

(Seriously? I bring my external hardrive, but I forget this...)

So, his true unveiling will have to wait.

(I think that the fried eggplant is helping... I feel much better. Plus there are reruns of Friends on the TV, which REALLY helps.)

On My Own: Part Two from TN

So when I woke up this morning I was SUPER nervous about this trip.

I was also SUPER angry at myself for not packing last night and instead watching LOST.

(Totally worth it, though.)

So I got up early to pack and was cussing out my bag because I couldn't fit all of my "essentials" in there.

Mike then repacked it and fit everything in there by pointing out that I did NOT need my three pound day planner...

(Smarty-pants.)

He then drove me to the airport where I cried for no apparent reason except for the fact that I realized that I was ALL BY MYSELF.

It didn't help when I forgot to take the liquids out of my bag (rookie mistake) thus forcing an old man security guard to search my stuff.

(Thankfully he became convinced that I was a law abiding citizen before he went through all of my undies...)

I then had to go to stupid Concourse A which does not have the sandwich place that I like on Concourse B. So I bought 800 calories worth or trail mix and cherry sours as my breakfast.

When I got on the plane the flight attendant scolded me for having an oddly shaped bag that was not regulation size.

(Which is something you think someone could have told me at the half dozen checkpoints I had to go through since leaving the car...)

And then crazy lady sat across the aisle from me.

To avert any crisis (like me attacking crazy lady with my bag of cherry sours), I quickly asked the mean flight attendant if I could sit in the seat in front of me with the empty seat next to it.

(It wasn't all that necessary, as the woman sitting on the other side of the crazy lady was way more overtly rude than me, thus shutting crazy lady right the eff up.)

(Mean girls are sometimes good for something.)

Then, about half way through the flight the sleeping old man in my row offered me a stick of gum.

I thought how nice, and quickly stuck the stick-o-mint in my mouth.

Then I remembered that you are never supposed to take candy from strangers.

(See... I'm not meant to travel alone...)

So I started to think about if gum counts as candy... I mean, I never sit there and crave a nice, rich piece of gum to melt in my mouth... but it is sold in the candy section of the store.

During all of this I realized that I wasn't foaming at the mouth or anything else that might happen if I was being poisoned, so I just enjoyed my gum and went to sleep.

When I got to the airport I was looking for the shuttle to the hotel when a couple of nice men pointed out that I had to actually call the shuttle to have them pick me up.

So I called and was instructed to wait for a silver car. The same men who originally helped me pointed out what my ride was going to look like. They said it would be a silver van and it would have the hotel's name on it.

Well, at first I was a little offended. I mean, I'm competent and all, I could probably figure out which car was mine... right?

Well, I'm actually quite grateful because soon a silver SUV pulled up in front of me and had those men not just told me exactly what my van looked like I would have jumped up and climbed in the back of this poor man's Explorer.

Which would be awkward.

Especially when I would tell him to "step on it, already".

I finally get to the hotel and get into my room and... I completely lost it.

So I called Mike up blubbering like a baby about being completely overwhelmed and he calmed me down and told me it was OK.

Then I got off of the phone and had to physically restrain myself from ordering Twilight off of the in-room movie service to make myself feel better.

(Because Edward Cullen would totally help...)

So instead I decided to blog (which is just fine... I am at a blogging conference).

I should probably take Mike's advice and go to the front desk to find out a good place to eat.

I think I feel like this because of today's diet of yogurt, trail mix, and cherry sours.

And that can't be good.

Distractions

I'm sitting in a coffee shop / ice cream emporium and I'm trying not to eat ice cream.

I actually used to work here.

Sometimes I liked it. Sometimes I hated it.

All in all it was a lot like every job out there.

I said that I quit because I didn't like management and because I was getting dicked over by not being promoted and therefore given a much deserved raise... but another huge reason that I left was because I was gaining about 2 pounds a week.

(And I seemed to be the only one who was gaining weight. Seriously. ALL of the girls who worked with me looked like Barbie with Bulimia. It SUCKED.)

(Oh my Brad... some guy just ordered a Waffle Cone (homemade) with Carmel Oreo and Carmel Brownie Blast... My whole mouth just filled with saliva... (over the thought of the ice cream... not the dude... just thought I'd clarify).)

And so I decided (with much encouragement from my mother) to not work at this place anymore.

But I've been coming here a lot because it's usually empty during the day, there's free wifi, and plenty of tables so that I don't have to share my personal space with a hippie taking espresso shots and reading Marx.

(Which happens in other, smaller coffee shops all of the time.)

(Sorta...)

But, you would think that I should just leave. Go home. Remove myself from the Banana Carmel Crunch (my personal fave), the Mint Oreo, and the (new!) Pumpkin Fudge Swirl.

But alas, here I am... living vicariously through the wave of customers that have just entered.

(No! Don't get the lemon gelato! Butterfinger is the way to go!)

(A CAKE cone?? What are you? Five? Oh wait... you are five. Never mind...)

I tried to distract myself by reading my current book, Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl.

(It's a novel... not a textbook. When Mike got it for me last Christmas I thought he had given me a non-fiction book about physics and I was about to yell at him for "not knowing me at all!"... but it's a novel... so he does know me.)

This is one of those books, though, that takes an amazing amount of actual thought.

I'm a real big fan of reading books that you can just sort of fall into. Books that you don't have to try too hard with.

(Enter The Twilight Saga)

But Pessl has written a book that just screams that she is WAY smarter than me.

Lots of references to books I've never read/heard of and movies I've never seen/heard of.

Don't get me wrong. I like it a lot. It's just a little slow... and long (500 plus pages)... and it's really not doing the trick in distracting me from a scoop of Birthday Cake ice cream.

(It tastes like frosting!!)

And so I took Edward out and am now trying to distract myself by rambling about ice cream flavors (Junior Mint!) and smart people.

(And I am now trying not to hate these three girls behind me who "just can't take another bite of this Death By Chocolate!" HATE!!)

(OK... maybe I should just leave... before I do something that I'll regret...)

Introducing...

I hope all of you had a loverly holiday.

I sure did! We got to have two Christmas mornings, ate lots of food, and got some AWESOME stuff from Santa!!

And I would now like to introduce you to my new bestest friend:

Say hello to my new new MacBook Air: Edward. 

(Yes, he is named after this Edward... and yes, I am crazy... and no, I don't care!)

He's smooth, sleek, shiny, and oh so sexy.

He's also smart, sophisticated, and cool.

Of course, I have NO FREAKIN IDEA how to use the stupid thing.

I just don't get it.

But he's pretty, so that's really all that matters.

I'll probably figure him out sometime soon, but Edward is a complicated fellow, and it's going to take a little while to get to know him.

So we'll see how that goes.

I did get him a pretty case today.

(This thing is so thin I feel like I might snap it in half, so I went and got it protection asap.  Plus, I love me my accessories.)

It's purple, of course, because Edward deserves to have the most beautiful things.

But the Apple Store is kinda a stupid place.  They had seven thousand people walking around to "help", but the minute I said that I wanted to pay cash, they suddenly weren't able to accommodate me.  Apparently people who pay cash are worthless, and so they have ONE cash register.  And it's in the back corner, probably to keep us lowlifes out of view from those paying with credit.

And when I was finally able to get to the back corner where only really sad people go, I had to wait there for a good twenty minutes while the guy in front of me paid for an IPhone in small bills.

So, Edward and I are a little miffed at the Apple Store infrastructure, to say the least, but at least he is clothed in purple plushness.  

Beauty is key, baby.

I Know it's Stupid... but I Just Can't Resist

If you've been living under a rock, you should probably watch the real one first:



Good, clean, Twilight fun...

It's Begining to Look a Lot Like... a Freezer

What a beautiful Monday morning in Colorado!

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, Bonnie is barking...

And it's NEGATIVE FOUR DEGREES.

(Actually, with the wind chill, it's NEGATIVE FIFTEEN).

Yeah, there is NO WAY that Ally B is going out in this cold. Nope, nada, screw it.

Bonnie has been acting out because she wants to go for a W-A-L-K, but how do you explain to a doggie that Momma will have boogers freeze in her nasal cavity if she goes strolling down the block? Not to mention the fact that Bonnie has a nasty habit of pulling Momma down the sidewalk, and when it's frozen solid, that just leads to a Christmas disaster...

So, I will be here. Drinking hot cocoa (with Irish Whisky... after 5 PM, I mean), reading Twilight (again), and contemplating whether or not to drug sweet Bonnie.

If I get bored I will sit at the window and laugh at the poor suckers in their beannies and Uggs who have to wait outside my driveway for the bus to take them to their Fall Finals.

Suckas!

And if you throw that whole Ally-B-Unemployed thing in my face...

Then YOU have to take Bonnie out for a W-A-L-K.

Book Nerd

As I try to figure out what the next step in my life is, I think that it is important to try and budget a little.

(My understanding is that you can't spend whatever you want if you don't have a, you know, income.)

I'm actually pretty good about not spending too much, but it's probably a good idea to evaluate what's allowed right now.

I have to have enough money for the essentials: shelter, groceries, electricity, and the medicine for the doggies (I keep telling Hannah that she's the one with the allergies, so she should really stop being lazy and get a job to pay for them).

And I have to cut out the non-essentials: eating out (at least I need to cut back), makeup, and professional eyebrow waxes (which means I might end up looking like Bert from Sesame Street, or I'll turn into one of those ladies who has to draw on her own eyebrows with a crayon... either way, please don't point and laugh).

Again, I don't waste my money, but my biggest downfall are usually accessories (sure, they're usually from Target, but they add up), but I CANNOT get any new purses (like this, or this).

(Which will make Mike very happy, as I lost the ability to house any more purses in our closet about a year ago... although I'm sure I could make space, Santa.)

Ok, the point of all of this is that I ran into some trouble when breaking purchases down into "essential" and "non-essential".

BOOKS.

I know that I should stop buying new, beautiful, exciting books. I know that I should just go to the library, or borrow books from friends and family, or, you know, read the dozens of unread books that are already on the bookshelf.

But I have this thing where I LOVE having my own books. I don't mind buying used books; as long as I can keep the book when I finish it, then I'm happy.

And everytime I finish a book, there are about three new books that I want to read.

I love being able to look at my beautiful bookshelf (designed and built by Mr. Michael) and seeing all of my little accomplishments lined up in a nice, alphabetized row.

I love being able to write the month and year that I finished a book on the first inside page (I think that libraries frown on such a thing).

I love seeing all of the series that I love lined up on the bottom shelf, with their corresponding covers looking so pretty in a group together.

I love being able to have a favorite book at my fingertips, ready for me to read again (and again... and again).

So: do I keep buying books? Do I dare to keep entering into the bookstores, knowing very well that I really won't leave without at least one purchase?

Well, yes.

I think that you have to treat yourself once in awhile. Sure, I'll limit myself, but I figure that buying books is a way better vice than purchasing designer shoes or lattes everyday.

All of this speaking about books makes me want to tell you all about a couple of AWESOME books that I read in New Zealand. I didn't get to read as much as I usually do on vacation. I guess Dad and AJ like to actually, like, do stuff rather than sit around reading. This is very different than what Mike and I do on vacation. Maybe that's because Mike and I usually can't afford to really do anything when we travel on our own... or maybe we're just nerds... lazy nerds.

I'm not complaining, though. It was nice to be able to actually get up and see the country!

Anywhozit, I had the privilege of reading some books that are now new favorites.

But first, some books that I read that were good, but did not make it to the coveted "favorite list".

I read the third and fourth books in the Sookie Stackhouse Series by Charlaine Harris. They were good, very entertaining. I really like the series, so that's good (though none of them are as good as the first book in the series: Dead Until Dark ... and in terms of vampire series, The Twilight Saga is still the best... obviously).

I also read A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula Le Guin. Truth be told, I didn't really like this book (sorry AJ, since it's one of his faves). I mean, it's just not my kinda style or story. The thing that I find fascinating about these kind of books, though, is how much creativity the author has to create a story like that. It's a fantasy, and the first book in a series, so she had to create so many names and places and creatures, and I find that incredible. So I'm glad that I read it so that I could see how an author creates a story (always learning!).

Now, I said that I read some AMAZING books that are now on my all time favorite list.


First is The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I read about this book on Stephenie Meyer's website (I check it everyday because I am an obsessed loser... and kinda a stalker... not really... I think). She loved it so much that she posted her review of it on her homepage, so I went and bought it. It's been sitting on my self for awhile, and I decided to finally take it with me on this trip.

This was the BEST BOOK EVER. It was crazy good. Like I couldn't stop reading it. And I thought about it long after I finished it. It was an extremely well written story about growing up in the most horrific of circumstances.

Seriously, so good!!

Oh, and you should be warned that the book is classified as "young adult". Don't let the label discourage you - some of the BEST books ever written are in that section (enter The Twilight Saga and Harry Potter ). Plus, that means they're easy as pie, which we all need once in awhile.


The other book that is now on my favorite list is called Slam and it is by the one and only Nick Hornby. He is by far one of the best writers out there (High Fidelity, anyone?), and Slam did not disappoint. I actually found this book at the bookstore with my dad. He too is a Hornby fan, so in an effort to secure my spot as winner of the Best Daughter of All Time award, I got the book for him. Of course, this was with the understanding that I could read it after him...

The book is hilarious and touching and you feel like you really are in the mind of a 15-year-old British kid.

So, those are my reviews and suggestions for the holiday season. If you follow my advice and read The Hunger Games and Slam, I hope you enjoy them. And if you don't follow my advice... then you suck.

Not really.

Well... only kinda.

(See how I was able to write another (long) post without actually writting about my trip? Don't get me wrong, it was an awesome trip and I want to share, but, as I said yesterday, it's a bit overwhelming to write about 16 days of activity... but soon, I promise.)

Getting Back to Business...

And by business, I mean finally getting to see Twilight


Sure, I just returned from the magical land of Kiwis and sheep, but there's just so much to write about that experience, so I'm just going to talk about Twilight


(It's called an "artistic process"... also known as "procrastination".)

If you don't know what The Twilight Saga is, or you know what it is, but don't care, then don't read this.

Instead, just go buy the damn books and then go see the movie.

And then read this.

Seriously.

Go.

Actually, really, if you don't like Twilight, then this post is pretty worthless to you.

And now that I have alienated most of my readership, let us continue.

I've heard pretty dreadful things about the movie. Most of my friends emailed me in NZ to tell me that the movie was a total let down. (And by "most of my friends", I mean two... which means all of my friends emailed me about it... *tear*.)

Therefore, my expectations were pretty darn low going into the theater.

I mean, I never expected the movie to be AWESOME. It's like the Harry Potter movies. NONE of them are GREAT (though they are getting much better... and the sixth one looks extremely promising...), but I love them. They're entertaining as hell, and they're fun. I always laugh and cry and forget about all the shit going on in the world during those hours in the theater... And isn't that what movies are supposed to do... let you escape?

But, because of the crappy reviews and all, I walked in thinking it would be pretty awful... maybe even painful. I was scared that the film would be SO BAD that it would just end up ruining one of my most favoritist books of all time.

Well... in a nutshell...

It was not THAT BAD. It was even, dare I say, good. Like, I really liked it.

Maybe it's just because my expectations were SO low, but I thought that it was really fun and entertaining and way better than I thought it would be.

Sure, it's not going to win any awards.

Sure, some of it was really cheesy and all, but if you stop and think about it, it's a cheesy-ass story anyway.

Sure, it wasn't as good as the book, but that never happens (except for maybe High Fidelity... both the movie and the book are amazing). I think that they actually did a very good job putting together a nice and cohesive movie out of a 500+ page novel.

And sure, the acting was kinda iffy. But, overall, I think that the actors did very well.

Robert Pattinson was, um, gorgeous, and I think that he did a good job portraying Edward in all his smoldering-crazy-overreacting-Godlike-glory.

Kristin Stewart was actually a very good Bella. Yes, she was kinda aloof in some scenes, but overall, she was much better than I thought she would be.

And the other characters did pretty well (especially Bella's friends at school and Charlie). EXCEPT for Alice and Jasper. They were just weird and awkward and funny looking (these are supposed to be the most amazingly beautiful creatures on the planet, and they were just... not...).

So, overall, I was not disappointed.

And yes, I'll probably see it again.

And yes, I'll buy it on DVD.

So, for those of you who don't have any idea what I am talking about... you should. But if you really have no interest in this stuff, then you'll be happy to know that I actually have "real" stuff to write about later.

I do have a life.

Sure... it's schooless and jobless and, lately, has revolved around my obsession with a fictional vampire man... but I promise I'll write about other stuff.

Important stuff.

Like how super cute Bonnie and Hannah are.

And Michael's beard.

And said beard's implications and consequences in our relationship.

And how I need a job... during a recession...

And how I'm considering bangs.

See... very important stuff.

All in good time, my friends... all in good time.

Free Internets = Stupid Post from NZ

I am sitting in a snazy little hotel in Christchurch on our last night in NZ.

This is the first place that has FREE internets. So I am taking advantage and hording the computer from other guests (Mike... and maybe a German couple) to write this short little post to warn you all that I have more posts to write.

I know that seems weird, but as I am bored and have free internets I decided to tell you all that since I am now unemployed and am going to return from my epic family vacay in the Southern Hemisphere, I will most likely have a lot to write about...

But I can't write it all now because even though this internet is free, it is on a crappy computer and I am being surrounded by eager internets users (Mike... the Germans returned to their room...).

But I shall return, so you should probably just keep your computer on my blog at all times, refreshing every five and a half seconds, so that you don't miss a bit of my amazing tales.

Of course I won't be posting until the following happens:

- I cuddle with the doggies

- I see Twilight (I know that it will probably suck and can never live up to the book... but that won't stop me from seeing it, even if I'm totally jet lagged)

- I find out who America's Next Top Model is

- I figure out if Katie really has left Tom (it's all over the Kiwi Tabloids)

- I catch up on The Office and Grey's Anatomy

So, even though I have a lot of amazing posting to do... it might be a couple more days. But remember: refresh.

Oh, and I'm sick. And my travel companions have told me to stop complaining (about everything... not just about being sick)... so you can expect me to have A LOT to complain - I mean write- about on that subject...