Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Another Way I have Managed to Piss People Off...

You want to piss people off? Say you're not a fan of cats.

A manager at work found a kitten in a bush in front of the office. Now my friend and her mom are adopting it.

The kitten is adorable, so cute. But she can't fool me.

Cats are killers.
It's actual fact... everything a cat does is based on hunting instincts. That is what they are made to do.

After working in a vet office, and having plenty of angry cats hiss my name when I tried to feed them, I have an aversion.

They are smarter than they look (like toddlers... both can see through your soul).

And there is a very fine line between a happy cat and an angry cat. They make the same movements with their tales and both cats flex their claws...

Dogs are pretty transperant.

Anyway, I simply stated how I feel.

"Your crazy," people said... but what they looked liked they wanted to say was "You heartless bitch".

They wanted to name the cat Victoria and call her Vicki. I love that name. I am a big proponent of people names for animals.

Somebody else said they should name her McCaslin (that is the name of the street we're on), and call her Mickey.

I said that I didn't like it, because she is clearly a Vicki.

Woman I work with but don't really know: "Mickey is a person's name"
Me: "No... it is a mouse."
Woman: "Well, I know more human Mickeys than I know animal Mickeys."
Me: "And I know a person named Cookie... but that doesn't make it a human name."

I guess I'll shut my mouth now.

I thought being an unpatriotic bitch was bad... but apparently dog people are up there on the list of satan's minions too.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

UPDATE: Craptastic

Did you ever walk your dog and then have to pick up their poop with a plastic newspaper bag and then realize a little too late that there is a hole in the effin' bag?

Yeah, just happened.

And then you realize you're about a mile from home with poop on your hand?

And yeah... it's super duper crappy...


Just Call me K-K-K-Katie.

A woman in Denver sang "Lift Ev'ry Voice and Sing" (aka, "The Black National Anthem"... which seems a little bit racist to me) instead of the Star Spangled Banner at the State of the City Address on July 1st.

People are pissed, including many people in my office. I walked into the lunch room and a bunch of women were saying that she should be in jail and it's as bad as burning the flag (which I think is a really dumb law....).

I said I think that it's awesome. Good for her. Thank goodness we live in a place where she has the right to sing that.

They said Black National Anthem like it was a disease... like Black Plague or Black Death.

I think that the lyrics are much better than the traditional song, anyway.

I wonder if they even know what the song is, or if they just got pissed at some (black) woman for standing up and doing what she wanted.

I don't stand up during the Star Spangled Banner.

I do not believe that we are the land of the free and the home of the brave.

We are the land of the patriot act and no gay marriage and dwindling abortion rights and the home of cowards who send poor kids over to die in a pointless war.

I believe that there are better ways to honor those who have fought, and died, for our country than standing up at a sports game with a Coors Light in one hand and the other hand on my heart.

I believe that this country should help those people who fought and survived by actually giving a damn about them when they return, broken and hurt. By giving them actual therapy for severe PTSD, and not antidepressants that make it worse. I believe in actually helping the families who have lost brothers/sisters/mothers/fathers/husbands/wives/daughters/sons in a stupid, useless war.

I believe that I have a right to NOT stand, because I love my country.

Because I am patriotic and because I expect more, much more, from this country.

Because it is my right to sit while some school kid sings a song that I don't believe in.
I will stand when this country proves to me that it is the land of the free and the home of the brave.

I will stand when this country starts to change.

And I will be proud.

You can call me a communist.

You can call me un-American.

You can call me a hippie.

You can call me K-K-K-Katie.

Just don't call me lazy when I stay in my seat.

Oh shit... is that Homeland Security knocking??

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Blink Once if you Read This.

I have a few things to write about today.

Let's start here: I went to the pharmacy to pick up some meds a few days ago. I asked if I could get an extra month supply since I'll run out before we get back from our vacation.

When he got it for me, he said, "You must be going somewhere really fun".

Um... I'm sorry, was I picking up an extra months supply of ecstasy?

No... it was just birth control... not really a drug that screams "fun vacay in exotic location"...

At least not to me.

Anywho, I told him that I was going to Greece, and he proceed to take a piece of paper out of the cash register and drew a picture on it.

Actually, "picture" is a relative term. It looked more like something a three year old would draw if you told him/her to draw a picture of a crooked piece of poop.

He told me to go to this island (and drew a circle) and then this island has really good food (and drew a circle). He then drew a bigger shape (not really a square... not really a circle), and drew lines with his driving route on it.

He never gave me one name or direction. He just said "island". I'm pretty sure Greece has quite a few islands... so I guess that I'll just look out for some sign that Steve the Target pharmacist was there.

Here is the picture, just to prove that I am not making this crap up (I know it's super small... but I'm not very good at this tech stuff like Mr. Michael, so just click on it to enlarge it and see it in it's original intended glory):

Tonight I went out with JJ and met her new(ish) man, Jason. I really liked him, and he makes her happy, so he passes the Ally B test 101.

I called Mike half way through to tell him where I was. He said this:

"Do you like the guy? Blink once for yes and twice for no."

Again, we were on the phone. He's good at the tech stuff... not so much with other, you know, normal common sense stuff.

We had a good time at dinner, though, and I laughed a lot, which is always fun. It was also very much needed since we put AJ on a plane to NZ today.

That was sad. We must have been quite the site in the airport: family hugging and bawling our eyes out.

Stupid independent grown up child leaving home like a stupid independent grown up adult.

I have no problem letting go... at all.

I will miss him so much, but I know he will have so much fun, so I'm happy for him.

That's all I feel like writing for now.