Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I Can't Help it...

I'm officially obsessed... bear with me...

I heart Edward Cullen... and chicks who can rock out.

New Beginnings

I'm supposed to be working... but the connection to my work computer is going about as fast as I run... so that's not going to happen.

So here I blog.

The past few days have brought a lot of things to my mind.

Between the election, the juice fast, and my tenure at my job coming to an end, I have been thinking a lot about the future.

So first, let me tell you all about my juice fast.

The first day was easy. I was so scared that it would be really hard, but I was able to pull it off with minimal discomfort.

The second day was harder. I had to help dad pack up the kitchen and load the truck with drywall, so my body started to feel the strain of low caloric intake.

Plus, my dad made me go to one of my favorite breakfast places with the family... and he made spaghetti. That was really hard to get through without, you know, eating.

Thankfully my dad covered the spaghetti in animal carcass so that I wouldn't want to eat it...

The third day was the hardest. I was really hungry, and I had to go into the office. The office is my downfall. I eat all day. There is food everywhere (including leftover Halloween candy).

By the end of the third day, I started to feel really slugish, no matter how much juice I drank, so I decided to start eating again. I went to Whole Foods and made a huge salad.

It was weird, salad was something that I craved the whole time I was fasting.

That and potatoes...

So, what did I learn from all of this?

My goal was to get through those situations where I usually consume more food than most professional football players.

And I did it!

It was so empowering to sit through a breakfast and not clean my plate.

And it was amazing to be at the office and not snack on chips and candy all day.

I was able to get through those situations without giving in and giving up.

It was pretty sweet.

So probably the most important lesson that I learned was that I can do anything I set my mind to.

The other important thing that I learned was that I am in control when it comes to food.

I don't have to eat. At least not as much as I usually do, and at least not as much crap as I usually do.

I've convinced myself that I am completely out of control when it comes to eating. I've convinced myself that I have to constantly eat.

But I learned that I do have control and that I don't have to eat all of the time.

If I change the way that I eat, and what I eat, and how I view food and myself, then I can become healthier.

And that's why I did this whole thing. To learn these things and to prove to myself that I could do it.

So I've been changing how I eat.

For one, I'm only eating things that will actually make me feel good.

That pack of Easy-Mac just isn't gonna cut it.

I don't need that mini-chocolate bar... at least not 5 times a day...

I will only have it if I really want it.

Like, really want it. Not like when I convince myself that I need it or my heart will explode...

I'm also trying to only eat when I'm actually hungry. I realized that I was rarely actually hungry when I was doing my juice fast. I was just craving food... craving the act of eating. And once I pushed that feeling back, I was just fine.

So, I've been eating healthier food, and only eating when I actually get hungry. And stopping when I'm full.

Yesterday I actually left french fries on my plate...

I know... unbelievable, yet it happened.

I don't know... it's really nice to know that I can accomplish anything, no matter how much I had originally doubted myself.

And now that I've learned all of that... maybe I can actually start thinking about what I want to do with my life.

Or maybe I'll just think about that later...