Sunday, May 3, 2009

Fit or Fail: French Fries vs Puppies Edition

This week was weird because I pretty much did nothing but eat bad food and not exercise (FAILs), but I had my biggest results yet... so... I'm going to talk about something else instead.

My gym used to be right next door to a McDonald's.

If you are looking into building a gym, putting it next to a McDonald's is just an asshole thing to do.

When I left the gym my entire brain would fill with the smell of FRENCH FRIES. Fresh, salty, greasy french fries.

And I would start to salivate.

I would then start to have that conversation in my head (you've all had it) where I would tell myself that eating some french fries wouldn't be the end of the world... and a milkshake would be okay too... and maybe some chicken nuggets, because chicken is good for you...

So I would run to the car after each exercise session to avoid the McDonald's drive through...

Only to have to drive by the DAIRY QUEEN on the other side of the gym.

All in all: it was just cruel.

(But, if I were doing this then, I would have gotten a lot of FITs because I didn't succumb to the french fry smell once... because I'm awesome... it still sucked, though. I don't like having to enforce my self-control... it's just not as fun as eating french fries.)

Then the gym moved across town. Now it's next to the DMV and across the parking lot from a sex shop.


So when I leave the gym now I just want to put my head down and get the hell out of there.

(Just so you know, the people who patron the sex shop are often less scary then the people at the DMV.)

But today? What did they have in front of the gym?

A bus from the Humane Society, filled with sad, homeless dogs ready to come home with me.

And that? Is pretty much worse than french fries and ice cream.