Love Letter

Dear Mike,

Thanks for not laughing or rolling your eyes when I called you as you were leaving work to ask if you would get me some frozen yogurt on your way home.

And thanks for thinking that it was totally normal that I wanted Cap'n Crunch as my topping.

And thanks for watching Michael Jackson videos with me and then listening to me ramble about how he was a freakin' genius and how he essentially changed pop culture as we know it.

And thanks for making me spit out my water when you said that you were named after him.

And thanks for checking the backyard to find out what that scary noise was. Some people might have thought you looked silly with your head through the dog door to see if our neighbors were murdering someone, but I felt very safe looking at your torso stuck half inside/half outside the house.

Loves,

Ally B

The King

I used to watch this video over and over again.

No, it's not "Thriller".

Yes, it's the most expensive music video of all time.

(I've always had amazing taste.)

And, yes, I kinda wish my brother and I had come up with more synchronized choreography in leather pants...

(It's too late now; my brother has broken knees and I can't fit into tight leather pants... oh, what could have been...)

Michael Jackson |MTV Music

Fit or Fail: Apathetic Edition

I didn't write a Fit or Fail post yesterday because a bee stung Bonnie and sent the poor dog into anaphylactic shock. (She's fine today.)

Sooooo, writing about my adventures in fitness land was not really something I wanted to do while waiting for a call from the Doggy ER that told me we could go get her.

(The call came at 2 AM. The doctor kindly informed me that it would be great if we could pick her up as soon as possible because Bonnie "really wants to come home". The doc quickly told me that Bonnie wasn't being "bad, per se... she just wants to leave"... I'm kind of wondering what Bonnie really did...)

But here I am, with a sleeping Bonnie next to me (she's still doped up on Benadryl), thinking about my fitness. And I am realizing that I have reached that place where I always fail:

I have little to no motivation.

I have little to no desire to workout.

I have trouble keeping track of what I'm eating.

I don't want to go to the gym.

It would help if I had some amazing results to motivate me to continue. But? I have none. No great results. Nothing to help convince me that my goals are in reach.

Now, I'm hoping that by telling you all this, it will inspire me to be FIT and not let this lead to a FAIL. I have not missed one of my scheduled workouts (FIT!), and I don't plan on it. I plan on beating this apathy, because I don't want to start over again.

But, man, it blows.

Nicknames

The following conversation occurred completely randomly:

Mike: What do you think would be a good nickname for me?

Me: Thunder.

Mike: No... I'm thinking something cooler... like "Pickles".

Me: How is THAT cooler than "Thunder"?

Mike: Or another vegetable... like "Onion" or "Shallot".

Me: Nope... you're "Pickles", Pickles.

Mike: No, I changed my mind.

Me: Now, Pickles, I tried to give you a cool name like "Thunder" -

Mike: But I'm trying to find a serious name...

Me: So you picked "Pickles"?

Mike: It sounded better in my head.

Me: Fine, Pickles.

Mike: Stop calling me that.

I continued to call him Pickles and he almost left me... so yeah... don't try it on him... Pickles be pissed.

Fit or Fail: Squats are not for Sissies Edition

Mike decided that he would try the same strength moves as me.

The moves that caused me to waddle around like a broken down duck for a week straight.

When we did the squats, push-ups, and other death moves, Mike said that he was surprised that it was so difficult, but he seemed to do okay.

But soon...

HE was the one with the waddle.

HE was the one who almost threw up his protein shake.

HE was the one who whimpered every time he bent down to fill up the dog's water bowl.

(Though he did get over it much faster than me... and honestly, he didn't bitch NEARLY as much... and then he went and climbed a mountain...but still...)

And even though I would NEVER wish that pain on the man I love... it still felt kinda awesome.

In other news, I've continued the same workout program as last week and I'm getting better. I'm still sore, but not immobile. I'm sure it will get worse once I add weight and different moves, but for now I'm happy I can get into my car without weeping.

Selective Hearing

Over the last few days I've thought that there's something wrong with Bonnie.

She's been shaking her head, scratching her ears, and not coming in the house when I call her.

I cleaned out her ears, but none of the gunk that comes with ear infections was there.

I asked Mike if something was wrong with her.

She was sitting on the back of couch (where she is NOT allowed), staring outside, head perked up and eyes darting over the street, guarding her precious house.

"Bonnie?"

No response.

"Bonnie!"

No response.

Uh-oh. What do we do with a deaf dog? Can I teach her sign language? Are there classes for dogs like this?

Then a dog (three houses away) barked.

And Bonnie jumped off the back of the couch and outside, barking and growling the whole way.

She heard THAT just fine.

So yeah... she doesn't need sign language... she needs obedience lessons... damn dog.

Fit or Fail: Open Letter Edition

Dear Muscles,

What did I ever do to you?

Yes, I've let you go soft over the years. No, I haven't used you to your fullest abilities. And maybe I haven't done my best to give you the nutrients that you need.

But, seriously.

WTF??

I decided to get you all strong and stuff, so I asked an expert what to do and he told me to get this book. And because he's an expert, I went out and got it. And read it. And did the first two workouts.

And now? I can't walk... or bend... or lift anything.

Although it would be easy to blame said expert, or said book, I am going to say that it's not their fault.

It's YOUR fault, muscles.

You have conspired against me. You hate me. You have decided that I am some evil dictator in a world war and so you are going to take me down from the inside out (sort of like that Nazi Tom Cruise played... with the eye patch...).

You are trying to kill me.

(I'm ESPECIALLY talking to you, quads!)

But, I'm not stopping. That's just what you want, and I'm not going to give in.

I'm going to keep working on you so that you get bigger, stronger, and rue the day that you tried to take me down.

So, buck up, because I could really use your help.

In extreme pain,

Ally B

**********************************************************************

Dear Book,

Might I suggest packaging this book with a heating pad, and possibly a prescription for Vicodin?

In Serious Need of Hard-Core Pain Medication,

Ally B

**********************************************************************

Dear Expert,

Thanks for the suggestion and help, but I can't help but wonder if you're actually not only a fitness expert writer, but also trained in torturing people.

If you don't watch LOST, then you won't understand why, but I think I'm going to call you Sayid.

(He's a super nice guy that just happens to be an expert in torturing enemies for information... and he's a trained killer... but otherwise, he's a real stand-up sorta dude.)

I'm just saying that I don't think you would recommend these workouts if you didn't have some other agenda...

I just don't know what you want from me.

Thankful and in Pain,

Ally B

The Winner!

I know, I know.

I took a long time to do this, but that's because I needed to get my hands on (my mother's) camera so that I could do a video blog documenting picking the winner of my first blog contest!

Below you'll find four videos of us picking a winner...

That's right.

FOUR.

For some reason, I kept pushing the "stop" button... it was instinct! And, therefore, the videos are all separate.

And some of them are only 11 seconds long...

I don't know why I kept doing that.

And I didn't realize I sounded like that.

And I know that my filming is shaky... so shut up.

(You're probably wondering why I just didn't re-shoot everything... but the process was already IN MOTION... FATE was already working... and I'm not messing with FATE... it wouldn't have been fair to the winner.)

You might as well just watch them...

Blog Contest Part I from Ally Carrillo on Vimeo.

This is where I realize that I've started a new video...

Blog Contest Part II from Ally Carrillo on Vimeo.

Classy, huh?

Blog Contest Part III from Ally Carrillo on Vimeo.

(I just realized that I sort of snapped "Michael grab her"... I'm sorry, Mike... you were a fabulous (and beautiful) assistant... being a director/camera woman is stressful...)

And, finally, a winner is announced!

Blog Post Part IV from Ally Carrillo on Vimeo.

So congratulations to Mark! I think that Hannah picked it on purpose, because Mark is one of her favorite people... and Bonnie has a major crush on him, so she probably rigged it...

Sorry about that.

You can see Mark's photoblog here.

(OH! Are you in Colorado? Are you getting married? Do you want an amazing photographer? Mark (and his partner in crime, the majestic Scott) are your best bet! Seriously... they're awesome...)

Thanks to all of you for participating. It means so much to me that you took the time to comment, to officially follow, and to just READ what I have to say.

If I could, I would give all of you a gift certificate to Amazon.

(Except not really... If I had that money, I'd put it towards a much needed iPhone...)

(But it's the thought that counts...)

Oh, and Mark, I forgot... there's one little "catch" to this little game...

You have to use the ten bucks to buy me a present...

Or buy me an iPhone...

Did I forget to mention that?