Friday, May 16, 2008

My Life is NOT Depressing... Well, Sorta.

I have one of those battery powered toothbrushes. I like it, because it's more interesting than regular toothbrushes. It's like a party in my mouth.

Michael says that I depress him because I have no hobbies. Well, after reading the above blurb about my super cool toothbrush... I agree. That is depressing.

I don't have any real hobbies. I never have. I get bored easily. The fact that I have kept up this blog has surprised us all. I am quitter. As my dad once told me: "Ally, you come from a long line of quitters."

Wise man, that dad guy.

I just don't have a lot of passion... or a strong work ethic (wisdom that my mother gave me when I was 12). Plus, I don't really know what I like. I think that that is one reason why the whole question of what my future holds is a mystery to me. I just don't know. Do I really have to know right now? I don't think so, but it would be nice if I did. I'll start small. In August, I will begin looking for a new job. Between now and then, I will keep working at WOG, and I will go to Vegas and Greece.

Sounds good to me. Baby steps to the future... baby steps to the future.

Speaking of Vegas, we get to go see Dane Cook at Caesar's Palace. A woman at work asked if he's as raunchy in his stand-up as she's heard. As far as I know, he's worse:

HER: Well, you know, there's something kinda cute about a hot guy who's raunchy. It's kinda hot. Not like when someone, like Robin Williams, is raunchy. Although it's hilarious, it's not sexy. Williams is still a hairy beast. But Dane Cook is like a bad boy, and that's sexy."
ME: I agree...

Random ramble: You know how the show Family Guy is created and written and stuff by Alex Bornstein. Quick: picture Alex Bornstein.

Alex is a chick.

I think that it is interesting, because I assumed that Alex Bornstein was a dude. Even with all that I've learned about assuming making you a douche (...wait... or is it an ass out of you and me... I get it!), I still have my preconceived notions about things.

Family Guy is on right now... that's why I bring it up.

Back to my toothbrush. I have this weird problem with brushing my teeth. I think that it is because I have more teeth than the average gal. Not really, but my dad says that it looks like I do, because of the sheer size of my teeth and all.

Again, wise.

Anywho, I produce an amazing amount of toothpaste foam. It gets all over my lips and my toothbrush, and the mirror, sink, and ceiling (I assume... I've never actually checked the ceiling). It is really annoying, and messy. I am not sure why this happens, as it does not happen to other people that I have had the pleasure of brushing my pearly whites with.

I also get heartburn from toothpaste. Not all the time, but enough times to make me check to see if spicy food or anti-freeze are ingredients in Colgate Total.

I know... weird... and depressing.

Another weird thing about my abnormally huge teeth is that they hurt when the weather is a certain temperature. Like if I'm smiling when there is a breeze, or breathing hard outside. My freaking teeth hurt so bad, like they are breaking.

I think my mouth needs therapy.

At least there's an exciting toothbrush in the picture, now.