Friday, January 29, 2010

Public Service Announcement

The first (and only) time that I've gotten a cavity I was about nine. And I was ashamed. I thought that I had done something terrible; that I had messed up. I hid in my room and was afraid for my daddy to come home.

(I had issues.)

(I still have issues.)

Of course, my dad didn't care. He told me it was okay and it happens and no worries, we'd get it fixed and be better about taking care of my teeth.

Even though it made my shame dissipate a little, I still hated the feeling like I had screwed up.

Well, I felt that same tooth related shame this week. I decided to make an appointment for the dentist because I hadn't been in a while.

Or, you know, four years.

FOUR GOD DAMN YEARS.

Yeah... my dentist was not pleased. And neither were my gums.

My poor, poor gums.

Which leads me to the main part of this blog post:

YOU NEED TO FLOSS.

Seriously. Floss like a mother fucker.

Thankfully, my problems can all be reversed with floss, regular visits to my dentist (like, you know, NOT every four years), and brushing my teeth for the recommended two minutes.

And now I'm telling you to floss, because otherwise your dental hygienist will scrape your gums with an instrument that looks like it belongs in the arsenal of someone responsible for getting top secret information out of a very stubborn war criminal.

(And today my mouth was the war criminal and my poor gums didn't have any information to tell.)

So there. I've passed along my advice. Because I care.

(I also visited the eye doctor and was told that your actually not supposed to wear your contact lenses for 4 months at a time, because they're kind of supposed to be replaced every two weeks. Apparently that's a bad thing...)

(I think I need some sort of professional care... I obviously can't take care of myself.)

PS: You know who doesn't need to go to the dentist? Bonnie. And you know how she showed me that her teeth are totally strong and healthy? By using those teeth to bite through her gentle leader on her walk today.