Reverb 10: It's Not (Just) Because I'm Lazy

I've been missing the last couple of days, which has really put a damper on this whole "post everyday" thing.

The truth is, I haven't been very inspired about the prompts. They're incredibly introspective, and I have a wall built around me when it comes those things. It's not that they're bad prompts, just that they're not making me excited to write.

Plus, I've got this crazy thing called a job.

(!)

And I'm applying for this other crazy thing called graduate school.

And I have a class that I'm about four chapters behind in (and hey! finals are next week).

So, if I'm going to put time and energy into a post, I'm going to want to be in love with the topic.

I'm going to want to feel the need, the desire, and the pull to write.

And so, if I'm moved to answer one of the prompts, then I shall. If not?

Well... I'll be curled up in the corner, trying to survive the holiday season in retail and my academic induced panic attacks.

(Please: send me pretty things.)

On BlogHer and a New Project

Her: Why are you going to New York City?

Me: To see my friends.

BlogHer is this week and I'm so freaking excited. I'm excited to see the people that I only get to see once, maybe twice, a year. I'm excited to run around Manhattan with Mike. I'm excited to eat and drink and shop and OHMYGOD people I just want to GO already.

It's easy to get caught up in the drama of the conference. To get obsessed with free shit and private parties and who's who and where the cool people are. I'm trying desperately to stay away from it all. I'm trying to control my knee jerk reaction to grab everything handed to me (I DON'T NEED ANOTHER FLASH DRIVE), or to try to get into every party there is.

Because? It's not worth it. I'm not going for all of that. Hell, I'm not really going for the conference part at all. I'm going because I just want to see some amazing women who I love dearly. (And I'm so sad that some of them won't be there.)

I'm going because most days I feel completely lost, but when I'm with these people, I feel like maybe I get it. Maybe it'll be okay. Maybe...

And for that? I'll put up with muggy New York City in August.

Alright, enough with the sappy BlogHer crap. Onto bigger and bloggy-er things:

My mom and I started a new blogging project together. It's called She Thinks and it's now live. Every week we take a topic submitted by our readers and we each write about it and post it on www.SheThinks.com. We already have 3 posts up, and every Monday there will be a new one, so tell us what you think. We're also on Twitter and have a Facebook page, if you're into that sort of thing.

Otherwise, I'll see you in NYC.

So Not Pretty... *At All*

When I brush my teeth, I get toothpaste everywhere.

I don't know why. I don't know how.

Somehow, toothpaste gets on the mirror, on my shirt, around the sink...

e-v-e-r-y-where.

And now it's even worse because my dentist insisted that I get an electric toothbrush, (you know, because apparently I am incapable of thoroughly cleaning my teeth the old fashioned way?) which means that the toothpaste is churned to the point of full on toothpaste froth.

When I brush my teeth, it looks like I'm a rabid dog.

It's not cute.

Mike isn't allowed to watch me as I brush my teeth because he just laughs and points.

Laughs and points.

Which makes me laugh, which means even more toothpaste ends up covering the bathroom walls and floor and ceiling.

He's also not allowed to watch me wash my face.

Because when I wash my face, water also gets

e-v-e-r-y-where.

The counter, my shirt (again), the floor...

And Mike says things like, "Ally, I know you're a smart person, but you do not look like it right now."

But this all works just fine because I just wash my face AFTER I brush my teeth, then the water just washes all of the toothpaste froth off of everything.

(Who's not smart, now, Michael?)

Except the mirror.

I have no idea how I get toothpaste on the mirror...

(PS: I'm trying out a new commenting system that's dynamic and shit (that's the technical term). All you need is a name and email, or you can sign up for a Disqus profile (so I can see your pretty little face next to your note) here, so please say "hi" to Bonnie and Hannah, because they don't think anyone cares about them.)

(PPS: That's a lie. Bonnie and Hannah don't even read this blog.)

(PPPS: Bitches.)

Stop Being a Stalker Day

Are you someone who reads blogs but never comments? Someone who follows people on twitter but never says anything? Yeah, you're a lurker.

(It's okay... I don't judge.)

(Except that I totally do.)

Well, today is Delurker Day, which means it's time to come out from the shadows and say hi.

Let me know you're there. Let me know what you think. Tell me your favorite color. What's your dog's name? Anything will do. I'd love to know who's out there, reading and judging me.

I want to hear from you, so stop stalking, and start talking.

(I totally just made that up. I should copyright it.)

(Because it's awesome.)

(I feel the need to point out that stalking is really serious and really bad, so don't do it.)

(Though I must also say that I'm going to Blissdom '10 in a couple of weeks where Harry Connick, Jr. will be and I will be following him around and I might take a lock of his hair.)

(Fair warning.)

(Don't worry, I totally won't take some of his hair. That's creepy. I'm just going to take his empty wine glass to harvest his DNA.)

(That's science.)

(Yes, I realize that I could harvest DNA from his hair, too. I'm just trying to plan strategy and I'm pretty sure that it would be a lot easier to pretend to be a waitress clearing the dirty dishes from his table than to steal a lock of his hair without him getting suspicious and then calling the cops.)

(These are the things I think about.)

(Leave a comment.)

(Please.)

PS: The color scheme and theme of this blog are slowly changing. The purple and paper are just the first steps. We're working on making it totally kick-ass. You just wait.

I am Still Alive

I know, I've been missing from this blog for awhile.

But you know what? It's because I'm lazy busy.

I have a job (wootwoot!) with an awesome online company called Zwaggle, which is done entirely on the internet. Therefore, when I'm done for the day, typing on a blog is not at the top of my list of things to do.

(Y'all should totally check out Zwaggle.com. Especially if you love me have children in your life... We're also on Twitter and Facebook, so check it out - if for no other reason than because I manage them.)

(Seriously.)

I also haven't really had that much to say. I made a deal with myself that I would *try* not to put total crap up anymore (seriously, some of my old posts make me cringe), so I only post when I have something interesting, weird, or hilarious to write about.

And nothing that interesting, weird, or hilarious has really happened lately.

I mean... I have a bug bite the size of a decent sized strawberry on my ankle that has caused me to abstain from wearing shoes that have a back on them because my foot won't fit.

And I got an iPhone... but my vocabulary regarding it has been mostly squeals of delight and drooling over its awesomeness... plus, after saying "HELL YES SUCKAS" about two dozen times, I ran out of things to say about it.

(It's great, by the way, and I'm sure I'll write a full post about it soon... after the drooling stops.)

And I went to a child's birthday party where my 2 year old cousin made me feel bad about myself because I couldn't touch my nose with my tongue.

See? Nothing really worthy of a longer blog post. SO...

I started a Tumblr blog to post little tidbits on.

This is where I'm posting those little things that I want to tell the world (like how I have to pee in coffee shops, like, 15 times in an hour... you know, important stuff) that just don't warrant a long blog post.

(Plus, there's an App for Tumblr so I can post anywhere... which is helpful.)

Therefore, if you need some more frequent Ally B Speakin fixes, visit www.allybspeakin.tumblr.com. I post there more often, sometimes with pictures from Regina (that's my iPhone's name... duh...).

I also sometimes post on Zwaggle's blog, so be sure to check that out.

(Though I can't cuss or talk about peeing on there quite as much... but it's still fun...)

(PS: If any of you bloggers out there would be interested in writing a blog post about how awesome Zwaggle is, contact me at ally [at] zwaggle [dot] com!)

(PPS: If you're not a blogger, but still want to write about how awesome Zwaggle is... get a blog... or some spray paint and a blank wall...)

(PPPS: Or just tell your friends.)

(PPPPS: And strangers...)

I am Not Above Bribing You

We're going to play a game.

And it is going to be awesome.

(Well... not really, but let's be enthusiastic, yes?)

I have a TEN DOLLAR gift certificate to Amazon.com that I am going to give to one of my readers.

Yes. You read that right.

TEN DOLLARS.

TEN BIG ONES.

TEN. AMERICAN. DOLLARS.

(I know ten dollars isn't a lot, but it's all I have, so shut up and enjoy.)

TEN DOLLARS TO AMAZON.COM!!

Woo-hoo!

So, instead of using this AMAZING gift for myself, I'm giving it to one of you. But you have to work for it.

Each time you do one of the following things you are entered to win the gift card. The more things you do, the better chance you have.

Ready?

First, follow this site (officially). You do this by clicking the "follow" button in that Google box thingy over there →.

(You need a Google, Yahoo, AIM, NetLog, or OpenID username and password to do this. If you don't have any of these accounts, and don't want to sign up for one, then email me at allyb [at] allybspeakin [dot] com and tell me, and we'll figure something out.)

If you're already a follower, you're already entered once. (But you'll totally want to do these other things so that you can have better odds, right? Right.)

Second, leave a comment on this post (read this if you don't know how to do that). The comment can be about anything, but sending me notes about how awesome I am will get you bonus points.

(Not official bonus points... hypothetical bonus points that actually mean nothing.)

Oh, and don't leave an anonymous comment because I won't be able to contact you if you win!

Third, you can follow me on Twitter: @AllyBSpeakin.

(If you're already following me on Twitter, say so in your comment and I'll enter you for that.)

(If you're not on Twitter... tough luck.)

Sound great? Yeah, I know it does.

(Again, I know ten dollars isn't a lot, but it's all I have to bribe you all to actually follow/comment/tweet me.)

SO, if you follow me here and then leave a comment and then follow me on Twitter you will be entered THREE times to win!

This contest ends on Friday, May 29th, at noon (Mountain Time, because I'm in charge).

So go forth and show this blog some love.

Fit or Fail: Taking a Break Edition

Sometimes you need to take a break from counting calories and only eating the healthy items on the menu.

You need to take a break from drinking only diet and saying "no" to that awesome desert.

The next few days are my break.

I'm going to Las Vegas, and you can bet your ass that I won't be freaking out about diet and exercise.

Going to a buffet is no fun when you're watching what you eat.

(The whole point of a buffet is being able to mix Italian food with Chinese food and taking a bite of each version of pie and cake available.)

(Duh...)

And I don't want to spend the whole trip freaking out. I want to go have fun. I want to have some cookies. I want to have a couple (or more) drinks.

(And let's face it: the drinks that have all of those calories are ALWAYS more fun on vacation. Light beer is for BBQs at home. Something frozen with hard alcohol? For the pool.)

I can count and burn calories when I get home...

So this trip will not be about fit or fail... it's about fun.

(And eating... a lot...)

(Can I get a "hell yes"?)

(PS: I promise more blog posts are coming soon... the last week has been crazy, but I've got a whole lot to share with you all... when I get back from vacation, of course.)

The Power of Twitter...

So here's a video of a TED talk by Evan Williams, the CEO of Twitter.

If you're confused about what Twitter is, Williams does a good job of showing WHAT Twitter is and WHY it's useful.

(He's not the greatest public speaker or anything, but he's probably bathing in a bathtub of hundred dollar bills while I'm... posting a video of him speaking publicly... so I can't really judge.)

(And thanks to Esther at FaintStarLite for linking to this on her latest post.)



PS: I also added this to my "New to Blogs?" post under my description of Twitter, just so you know.

Housekeeping

Just a few housekeeping notes for Ally B Speakin...

First, there is a new section on the sidebar (→) called "Important Info".

If you are so inclined, there are now super-cool links there such as an about Ally B section (everything you ever wanted to know about me and my blog... except not really... I get bored fast), my list of my most favoritist blogs (Mom, this is called a "blogroll"), AND a post with tips about reading/using blogs.

(My mom has been calling me with questions like "How do you comment?" and "What is a Twitter" and "I think my computer is being monitored because every time you refer to 'god' it comes out 'Brad'"... so SOME of these questions are answered in the "New to Blogs?" post that you can click on in the "Important Info" section...)

(I just filled her in on the Brad Pitt=god thing over the phone... she was glad to hear that her computer is NOT being fucked with...)

(She's a very smart lady... really.)

So I hope that you find it useful/interesting.

Other than that, Mike is participating in March-Stache, which means he is growing a mustache for the month of March. Apparently, it's actually a real thing that is done to raise money for cancer research in Taiwan...

Mike, however, is not growing his March-Stache to help better the world (in fact, when I told him it was for charity he said, "Woohoo! I'm getting paid for this?"... so yeah...). Mike is growing it because... well, just because.

(I think it's to prove his manliness since he, you know, CAN grow a mustache...)

(Couldn't he just build something useful?)



It is going to be a VERY long month.

Pray to Brad for me...

(Did I type that? Or was is The Feds?)

You're in my Domain, Now...

Hello all!

Exciting news! I (finally) got my own domain set up, so I now own and operate www.allybspeakin.com.

(So pretty!)

So, please help a sister out and change all of your bookmarks and such to this address.

If you type in my former web address (allybspeakin.blogspot.com), though, it will redirect you to this new address automatically... because the internets are pretty smart...

But isn't it way cooler to change your bookmarks to this new, awesome, one?

Clarify

I have a real post that I'm working on, but first:

I'm sorry about the whole Comment Moderator thing. It just means that when someone comments, I get an email that shows me the comments and then allows me to "publish" or "reject" it.

I had to do it because I was getting some really weird comments that didn't really make sense (I suspect aliens... or Bonnie), and rather than deleting them after the fact, I've decided to review them.

When you comment, there is a notice that comes up at the top of the page: Your comment has been saved and will be visible after blog owner approval.

So, as long as your comment makes sense or isn't really mean, I'll publish it.

You just have to be patient...

For Those of You New To The World 'O' Blogs

New to Blogs?

It's come to my attention that many of my readers are new to this whole blog thing. So here are a few things to help you navigate Ally B Speakin:

• If you like something (or hate something), and want to tell me about it, click on the link at the bottom of the post you want to comment about that says "_ People Said Something". When you're there, you can sign in with your Gmail account, or just use your name. I moderate my comments, so I have to approve it before it's posted publicly... and I reserve the right to NOT publish mean comments, though I will read them and curse your name listen to your criticism. COMMENTS RULE... so SPEAK UP!

• Follow me! Now anybody with a Google account can follow me by clicking the "Follow" button (duh) under the section labeled "Adoring Fans". If you follow me, I will love you forever and send you a birthday present. (OK, not really... I'm a blogger, I have no money - HIRE ME to change this - but I totally would if I could.)

*Commenting and Following are SUPER important, because it tells me HOW MANY readers I have and WHO my readers are... I NEED to hear from you; it keeps me motivated... so join the fun!*

• Each post has "labels" attached to it. You can see these at the bottom of each post. If you find yourself enjoying certain posts, and want more about the same subject, go to the section in the sidebar called "Organization Rules!" and click on the label that you want more of. You will be brought to ALL of the posts with that label, with the most recent post about that subject at the top.

• If you like what you read and just CAN'T get enough of lil' ol' me, check out the archives! These are located at the bottom of my sidebar (called "Previously on Ally B Speakin...") and ALL of my posts are listed there by month.

• And finally, my mother keeps asking me, "What the HELL is TWITTER!?!" According to Twitter.com: "Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?" In my own words: Twitter is literally people telling the world what they are doing. If you go to my Twitter page, you can see me leave brief tidbits about what I'm doing/thinking/talking about. You can also see me having conversations with other Twitter people (my Tweeps) by using an @ symbol. If you want to see my updates, or "Tweets", they are streamed live into my sidebar (called "Snapshots"), and if you are on Twitter, you can follow me: @AllyBSpeakin.

Here's a video from the CEO of Twitter, Evan Williams, about Twitter. It should help clear it all up, too.



If you have other questions, please feel free to comment on this post, or send me an email at AllyB [at] AllyBSpeakin [dot] com.

All About Ally B

My Philosophy:

Sometimes you just have to look at the more mundane things in life... and sometimes you just have to laugh out loud... and sometimes you just have to be a little bit (OK... a-lot-o-bit) bitchy... and sometimes you just have to blog about it...

Who is Ally B?

Well, for starters:

I am from Boulder, Colorado... so I rule.

I graduated from CU Boulder in May of 2008.

I have two AMAZING (slash naughty) dogs.

I have an AMAZING (slash naughty) boyfriend who I have been since 2002.

I look at the world through a "how can I make this offensive/sarcastic/funny?" lens.

My middle name is the letter "B"... no period... hence the "Ally B" in "Ally B Speakin"

I want to write (SO HIRE ME).

My Warning:

Although I love to have people READ my stuff... I write for me. I write to practice. I write to be "creative". I write to "find my voice" (and yes, my "voice" like to cuss...). So, if you enjoy what you read here, THANK YOU! If you don't... there are TONS of blogs out there, and I suggest you find one that suits you better. (Please see my blogroll for some awesome suggestions.)