Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Fast Track to Thin

*Somehow this ended up on I don't know why, or how, but I'm very happy to be there!*

I feel that it is my responsibility and duty to offer insight and tips to the world... well, at the very least to all of you, my avid readers. And so, I have decided to share my advice on a subject that I feel very strongly about.

I, like many other women in the world (and some men, I would guess), am always looking for a super quick way to drop some pounds.

Sure, I know the equation: move more + eat less = lose weight... but I want results NOW.

(Plus I am the laziest person on the planet and I LOVE to eat... which really makes the above equation... well... useless to me.)

Also, I would prefer to do without ordering frozen meals from those companies on television... I don't care how good that fettuccine is, or that you can have chocolate every day, and I really don't care how much weight Marie Osmond lost. Plus, if I'm paying for something to be delivered to my door, it'll be a pretty new purse, not frozen dinners, thankyouverymuch.

So, to ponder my desire to be thin, I headed over to my favorite Chinese restaurant because sometimes you just need some fried rice.

(I know going to a restaurant to eat fried rice is kind of counter-intuitive if you want to ponder weight loss... but just go with me.)

(And I had already gone to the gym that day!)

(Plus, they have awesome Soy Beef with Broccoli.)

(That's right. SOY beef... holla to the vegetarians!)

So I'm sitting there, enjoying my meal and reading Confessions of a Shopaholic, when I realize that I'm actually getting quite full.

And I've been sitting there for about ten minutes and all of my food is NOT already gone. In fact... I have more than half of my rice still on the plate!

(I should probably point out that I tend to finish meals in about five or so minutes... did I mention that I like food?)

Anyway, I'm wondering why this is happening... and then it hits me: I'm using chopsticks.

And I suck at using chopsticks.

And I've read that it takes your brain a few minutes to actually register that it's full, so if you slow down you're supposed to eat less...

And the chopsticks are definitely making me slow down... and therefore my brain is actually registering that I'm full!

And it ended up taking so long to eat that I had to pack it up to take home!

(Though that was only half because I was full... it's also super boring eating by yourself, even with a good book, so I wanted to leave. But the point is still the same: it took a long time to eat.)

And so, my valuable advice to all who want to drop some weight?

Eat with chopsticks! And not just your Chinese food or your sushi... EVERYTHING!

Pizza would be harder to eat if you had to use chopsticks, thus making you eat less... or at least making you take more time to eat, and therefore allowing your noggin to register that you're satisfied.

Ice Cream would be tough, too.

And Oreos! Think about trying to pull the cookies apart to lick the cream out with two sticks!

Ah well... just an idea.

Someone tell me if it works... I really don't have the patience to try it myself.

Oh, and if you grew up using chopsticks or you're really good at it... then this might not work as well for you as it is for someone like me, who is chopstick challenged. Maybe try eating with some limp spaghetti noodles for the same benefits.

Also, I feel that I should share with all of you that I just found out that I graduated 5th in my major's class. Sure, it's out of only 28 kids... in the easiest major... but it probably explains why I have such fabulous and smart ideas like this.