Saturday, January 9, 2010

Welcome to the Future

I know that ordering pizza on the internet is exactly brand new, but last night was the first time that I did it, so it's new to me.

(And it's all about me.)

Last night Mike and I wanted some Domino's Pizza (because we're classy). I decided to avoid human contact completely and use their online ordering system.

Holy shit, people, it's amazing. Really. Who needs flying cars and robots? This is the future.

My favorite parts?

Making your pizza is basically like being a PIZZA GOD.

But they totally ruin you're pizza making high.

But the best part? They have a progress tracker (see? FUTURE) that shows you when the order was taken, when your pizza is being prepared, baked, and checked over (to make sure no hair is on it?) (I actually appreciate that step), and when it leaves the store. It even tells you who's doing all of this.

Apparently "Hannah" took care of our order. As we were watching the little tracker thing, we started to get crazy hungry. ("Crazy hungry" occurs when you start screaming at your computer.) Soon we were yelling "BAKE IT FASTER HANNAH. TURN UP THE DAMN OVEN," and "HUSTLE UP HANNAH. WE NEED PEPPERONI STAT, WOMAN".

(Of course, this caused some problems for us. We had a very distraught golden retriever pacing back and forth wondering why the hell we were yelling her name so much.)

When the blinking light moved to "out for delivery", it told us that "John" was on his way. We proceeded to sit at the window calling "JOOOOOHHHHNNNNN" and wondering which car was his.

(Remember? Crazy hungry.)

It was awesome. I felt like I was in Star Trek or something.

(Actually, if it were Star Trek, my pizza would have appeared out of my computer.)

(Dude, they totally have a Wikipedia article about that machine that creates food in Star Trek.)

(Geeks are so organized.)

PS: The new Domino's pizza is actually really good.

PPS: FULL DISCLOSURE: Domino's didn't ask me to write anything and I didn't get anything to do so. I'm just a happy member of THE FUTURE.

PPPS: I don't think I actually have to disclose that, but it makes me feel fancy to do it.

PPPPS: OTHER DISCLOSURE: I'll gladly accept free pizza, though... just so you all know.