Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Another Way I have Managed to Piss People Off...


You want to piss people off? Say you're not a fan of cats.

A manager at work found a kitten in a bush in front of the office. Now my friend and her mom are adopting it.

The kitten is adorable, so cute. But she can't fool me.

Cats are killers.
It's actual fact... everything a cat does is based on hunting instincts. That is what they are made to do.

After working in a vet office, and having plenty of angry cats hiss my name when I tried to feed them, I have an aversion.

They are smarter than they look (like toddlers... both can see through your soul).

And there is a very fine line between a happy cat and an angry cat. They make the same movements with their tales and both cats flex their claws...

Dogs are pretty transperant.

Anyway, I simply stated how I feel.

"Your crazy," people said... but what they looked liked they wanted to say was "You heartless bitch".

They wanted to name the cat Victoria and call her Vicki. I love that name. I am a big proponent of people names for animals.

Somebody else said they should name her McCaslin (that is the name of the street we're on), and call her Mickey.

I said that I didn't like it, because she is clearly a Vicki.

Woman I work with but don't really know: "Mickey is a person's name"
Me: "No... it is a mouse."
Woman: "Well, I know more human Mickeys than I know animal Mickeys."
Me: "And I know a person named Cookie... but that doesn't make it a human name."

I guess I'll shut my mouth now.

I thought being an unpatriotic bitch was bad... but apparently dog people are up there on the list of satan's minions too.