Sunday, February 8, 2009

No Competition

I'm home! I made it! I faced my fears and actually survived!

I'll write all about it later (met Jen Lancaster!), but first...

If you've been gone for a few days and you can't wait to see your doggies and cuddle up with them on the couch... then DON'T convince your mother that your doggies REALLY need some yummy treats.

And then DON'T convince her that they also need one, maybe two, brand new kick-ass toys.

(In my defense... she was extremely easy to convince... if she had stood her ground and said "no", then I would be getting my snuggle on with the dogs...)

And then DON'T walk out with really yummy treats and THREE kick-ass toys.

Why? Because when you finally get home...

Your dogs couldn't give a shit about seeing you. I mean, sure, they're happy and all, but then they see the big monkey stuffed animal in your hand and smell the delicious meaty chewy in your purse.

And you therefore become background noise and are only good for cutting off the tags on all of the cool toys.

After letting them chew on their industrial strength bones for about 20 minutes, you get bored and want some lovin' too, so you take the bones away and wait for the onslaught of love to begin.

But then they realize that they now have room in their mouths for all of the kick-ass toys...

Thanks Grandma! Notice how she's sticking her tongue out at the camera (ME)...

And then you realize that one of your dogs is a COMPLETE and UTTER BRAT! If she were a child you would have to put her in timeout and read self-help books about how to get your naughty kid to START SHARING with her SISTER!

If she were a human child you would get calls from the principal's office and she would be sent home from school with notes from Miss Suzie about how a child psychologist might be necessary.

I think that we have a problem... from rhymes with milk on Vimeo.

(And I am completely aware that I sound like a complete and utter asshat... but talking "normally" just doesn't get quite the same response... )

(And I would also like to point out that I had to stop shooting the first attempt at making this video because the TV was on and the commercial was about "female freshness" and there was a huge picture of Vagasil in the background... totally killed the mood.)

(And I guess it's proof that they are both brats given that this video shows off our awesome duct-tape couch... bad doggies.)

That is the one example of when Hannah is more of a bitch than Bonnie... so I guess I can't blame her too much for finally asserting some dominance...

But I guess it can be quite tiring trying to keep track of all of your toys: