Friday, January 2, 2009

Toothpicks at the Gym

Like I said before, I'm trying to get in shape, so my mom and I joined a gym a few days ago.

This, of course, means that I have a whole new world of blog material opened to me.

First on the list: really skinny girls who workout next to me.

I want to hit them... hard.

Oh, I'm sorry. Was that a little harsh?

Well, I don't care.

Because there's thin, there's fit, and then there's skinny toothpicks.

I can understand thin people. I actually hope to be one of them someday.

And I totally get fit people. Again, I hope to be called fit at some point in my life.

But skinny toothpicks?

Well, I'm not gonna lie, I'd also like to be one of them.

And that's probably why I hate them so.

Seriously, though, some of those girls need to get off of the elliptical and into a Dairy Queen, stat.

("Stat means now, people!")

(If you can tell me what show that's from, and the episode, you get 25 cool points (which is also from a TV show).)

And they need to spring for the extra scoop of cookie dough in their blizzard.

It would seriously be money well spent.

Again, I probably don't like them because I'm jealous. But it really bothers me when I'm huffing and puffing, sweat dripping down my over sized t-shirt, while Little Miss Perfect is bouncing around in her yoga pants and sports bra.


This is the reason why I don't go to the gym on campus. When I worked out there, my self-esteem took a huge hit when I entered the cardio room and was hit with a wall of beautiful sorority girls.

So, to all of you toothpicks... eat a burger. And stay off of my machines.

(OK... add "bitter" to jealous.)