Friday, September 11, 2009

The Importance of Good Goals

The other day Mike and I were watching Law and Order: Special Victims Unit and I decided to explain to Mike that one of my favorite names of all time is Mariska Hargitay.

Seriously, say it.

Mariska Hargitay.

Mariska Hargitay.


Don't you feel awesome?

I believe that now is the time to tell all of you (including an representatives of Ms. Hargitay, because they totally read my blog) that I do not have any unnatural feelings for or against the actual Mariska Hargitay.

Just her name.

Really, I'm not a stalker.

So I'm telling Mike that Mariska Hargitay is a great name and really we should get some sort of pet and name it Mariska Hargitay.

Like a goldfish... or a ferret... or a TURTLE.

Then I went through a whole scenario where we live in our house with Bonnie, Hannah, and Mariska Hargitay the Turtle. We spend our days lounging around, feeding Mariska Hargitay the Turtle lettuce leaves and telling Hannah to "PUT MARISKA HARGITAY DOWN!!"

Then I told Mike about how I've been reading a lot of blog posts about the importance of goals, and how one of them suggested writing your goals down as a statement with a date, rather than a desire with no set time. This means that instead of saying "I want to eat 37 hot dogs in an hour", you say "In July 2013 I have eaten 37 hot dogs in an hour".

SO, I told Mike that this seemed like a good idea, so I have a turtle named Mariska Hargitay in December 2011.

(Christmas present, anyone?)

Then Mike told me to shut up and watch the rest of the show.

Well, THEN I saw one of those police officers break down a door with one of those long door-breaker-downer-thingys (technical term) and decided that I wanted to do that. So I have a door-breaker-downer-thingy in 2o12.

THEN I started thinking that it would be REALLY cool if we had a turtle named Mariska Hargitay who fought crime. So I came up with a whole scenario where I would break down the doors and then send in Mariska Hargitay the Turtle and we would play the theme song from Law and Order and we would be FAMOUS.

THEN I started thinking that we probably shouldn't be fighting any really scary criminals because in all honesty Mariska Hargitay the Turtle and I wouldn't be the *fastest* of crime fighting teams.

(And that's not necessarily because Mariska Hargitay the Turtle would be the slower of the two of us.)

So I decided that we will need a niche in the crime fighting world. And that niche should be to go after people with unpaid parking tickets. But even those people have the potential to be scary. So we're going to go after people with unpaid parking tickets who are addicted to marijuana, because, really, what's more harmless to me and a turtle than stoners who don't pay their parking tickets.

(Why yes, I am a genius.)

So, in September of 2014 (I figure we need some time to train), Mariska Hargitay the Turtle and I are breaking down doors to fight criminals who have not paid their parking tickets and who are high.

There's really nothing more important than goals.