Wednesday, March 31, 2010

It's All About the Accessories

So I got the following comment in response to my latest post with pictures of my dogs:

Oh dear...a cry for help. :'( I'm sorry to break it to you, but posting pictures of your pets on your blog or web site (no matter what species) officially makes you a "cat lady" (no matter what gender you are). No one's judging you...a common affliction of those dwelling in wintry climes. And you're not alone...I once did it. I even used a photo of my cat's face for a forum avatar. (Yes, I'm ashamed...but publicly admitting to almost being a member of the plastic curler-fuzzy slipper-flannel house coat set is part of the recovery.) Sorry to be this harsh...but it's necessary.
So, dear commenter, I have a response.

I think that the most important part of this whole thing is "the look". If I'm truly a "crazy cat lady (who actually has an innate fear of cats but I guess that's beyond the point)", then I need to update my look. But (BUT), I refuse to go with your regular run-of-the-mill plastic hair curlers and fuzzy slippers and house coat ensemble. No, I need something a little more...


(Of course.)

The first step is the hair curlers. Now, I totally think it's possible to rock regular hair curlers (ahem, Jenny), but I want something that screams that I'm not your average chick who has an unhealthy obsession with my animals.

My first thought was to get some hair curlers like Lady Gaga in her most recent music video. See, she's modeling empty beer cans.

Photo found here.

They just scream AWESOME (and RECYCLING), so I thought I'd try that. Problem is that the only beer we have in the house is Pabst Blue Ribbon in glass bottles (because we're classy), and I just don't think I'll get the right curl with glass bottles. I mean, there's a reason Gaga went for aluminum, right?

(Plus, wearing glass bottles in my hair doesn't seem like the safest thing in the world.)

So I thought maybe I'd take a page from the awesome Nancy W. Kappes, (paralegal) and use empty prescription bottles as hair curlers. I got all excited and went to empty a bunch of pills when I realized that I get my medication from fucking Target, and Target decided to reinvent the prescription bottle so they're totally useless now.
This photo is from this article where the author praises all of the awesome things about it.
(Notice that using it as a hair curler is *not* on the list.)

Well, if I wanted zig-zag curls I would have kept my (kick-ass) hair crimper circa 1989.

(Shut up, it looked cool.)

Needless to say, that ain't gonna work either. Alas, I'm just giving up because I don't have beer cans and I don't have appropriate shaped prescription bottles and all of this disappointment has made me tired and I don't even want to think about the rest of my cat lady attire.

I'll just accept that I'm crazy and keep my hair and clothes the way they are, thank you very much.

(I could totally be persuaded to wear fuzzy slippers, though.)

PS: I understand that "wearing the curlers" and "actually curling one's hair" can be different. I don't know if crazy cat ladies even take out the curlers, or are worried if their hair holds the perfect curl, but (again), I'm not your average cat lady. I just figure if I'm going to all the trouble to get the damn beer cans to stay in my hair, I might as well have the end result look nice.

PPS: Comments make me happy.