Thursday, February 5, 2009

On My Own: Part Two from TN

So when I woke up this morning I was SUPER nervous about this trip.

I was also SUPER angry at myself for not packing last night and instead watching LOST.

(Totally worth it, though.)

So I got up early to pack and was cussing out my bag because I couldn't fit all of my "essentials" in there.

Mike then repacked it and fit everything in there by pointing out that I did NOT need my three pound day planner...


He then drove me to the airport where I cried for no apparent reason except for the fact that I realized that I was ALL BY MYSELF.

It didn't help when I forgot to take the liquids out of my bag (rookie mistake) thus forcing an old man security guard to search my stuff.

(Thankfully he became convinced that I was a law abiding citizen before he went through all of my undies...)

I then had to go to stupid Concourse A which does not have the sandwich place that I like on Concourse B. So I bought 800 calories worth or trail mix and cherry sours as my breakfast.

When I got on the plane the flight attendant scolded me for having an oddly shaped bag that was not regulation size.

(Which is something you think someone could have told me at the half dozen checkpoints I had to go through since leaving the car...)

And then crazy lady sat across the aisle from me.

To avert any crisis (like me attacking crazy lady with my bag of cherry sours), I quickly asked the mean flight attendant if I could sit in the seat in front of me with the empty seat next to it.

(It wasn't all that necessary, as the woman sitting on the other side of the crazy lady was way more overtly rude than me, thus shutting crazy lady right the eff up.)

(Mean girls are sometimes good for something.)

Then, about half way through the flight the sleeping old man in my row offered me a stick of gum.

I thought how nice, and quickly stuck the stick-o-mint in my mouth.

Then I remembered that you are never supposed to take candy from strangers.

(See... I'm not meant to travel alone...)

So I started to think about if gum counts as candy... I mean, I never sit there and crave a nice, rich piece of gum to melt in my mouth... but it is sold in the candy section of the store.

During all of this I realized that I wasn't foaming at the mouth or anything else that might happen if I was being poisoned, so I just enjoyed my gum and went to sleep.

When I got to the airport I was looking for the shuttle to the hotel when a couple of nice men pointed out that I had to actually call the shuttle to have them pick me up.

So I called and was instructed to wait for a silver car. The same men who originally helped me pointed out what my ride was going to look like. They said it would be a silver van and it would have the hotel's name on it.

Well, at first I was a little offended. I mean, I'm competent and all, I could probably figure out which car was mine... right?

Well, I'm actually quite grateful because soon a silver SUV pulled up in front of me and had those men not just told me exactly what my van looked like I would have jumped up and climbed in the back of this poor man's Explorer.

Which would be awkward.

Especially when I would tell him to "step on it, already".

I finally get to the hotel and get into my room and... I completely lost it.

So I called Mike up blubbering like a baby about being completely overwhelmed and he calmed me down and told me it was OK.

Then I got off of the phone and had to physically restrain myself from ordering Twilight off of the in-room movie service to make myself feel better.

(Because Edward Cullen would totally help...)

So instead I decided to blog (which is just fine... I am at a blogging conference).

I should probably take Mike's advice and go to the front desk to find out a good place to eat.

I think I feel like this because of today's diet of yogurt, trail mix, and cherry sours.

And that can't be good.

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