While my baby brother is off climbing glaciers and mountains and swimming naked in New Zealand’s finest waterfalls, I am here.
Watching TV.
Scanning.
With my clothes on.
I walked a 5K on Sunday, though.
And in under an hour (59 minutes and 47 seconds, to be exact).
Mike walked the whole thing in flip-flops, which pretty much sums up why boys are silly.
The 5K was for the Boy’s and Girl’s Club of America, so there were a whole lot of kids there.
They all beat me.
We walked with some co-workers, and one of them brought her two little boys. Her four year old kicked our collective ass. Granted, he got to ride in a stroller for half of the race, while flip-floppy and I had to walk the whole thing, but the kid flat out ran the last half mile.
The plan was to stay behind him until the last little bit and then sprint in front, pushing him to the ground if need be, to finish before him…
But he was way faster than us, so that whole plan sort of failed.
Her one year old even beat us. But he was in the stroller the whole time, and only beat us because his pusher was hauling… but still.
There are always a lot of sponsors at these things, and they usually hand out free stuff. This is why I participate. Sure, the organization is a good one and all. And sure, the walking can only help my tiny-lung syndrome (Hey! We should have a 5K to benefit my condition! Sort of like a Rabies Fun Run…), but it’s really all about the free crap.
I got a few of those reusable grocery bags, which I love. I always forget them in the car when I go to the grocery store… but it’s the thought that counts.
I also got two water bottles, one from Sports Authority, and from Westwood College.
Me: Mike, do you want a water bottle from Westwood College?
Mike: Nah, we have enough water bottles at home.
Me: Yes, but these have a number 1 on the bottom… ours all have 7s on the bottom and are slowly killing us from the inside.
Westwood College Rep: Well, at least you’re hydrated.
Me: Yes, we may be infertile and we may die, but at least we’ll die well hydrated.
I also took my fair share of free samples of Lara Bars and smoothie drinks.
They were also handing out bike helmets for free to kids. I tried to get Mike one, but he has a man head (read: large), and they didn’t fit.
One of the other free things was a magic eight ball. In an effort to not bring too much useless crap home with me, I left that there, but the speedy little four year old got one. He kept asking it if he would win the race, and asking his mom what it said.
When it kept saying to ask again later, he lost interest.
Oh, for a visual of said kid, see here.
And by the way, we walked the whole thing around a lake, and did I have any desire to take my clothes off and jump in? No.
Would my baby brother?
Not only would he have the desire… he would flat out do it.
Even after the four year old told everyone that he was pretty sure that there were alligators in there.
Again… boys = silly/kinda disturbing individuals.