Tuesday, March 17, 2009

What Doesn't Kill me Only Makes me Bitter

I went to the gym.

I went to the gym and used some weight machines.

I went to the gym and used some weight machines and now I can barely type.

These are some other things that I am now unable to do without cursing and screaming "ow" repeatedly:
  • Putting the car in reverse
  • Putting the car in drive
  • Turning the steering wheel into the driveway
  • Putting the car in park
  • Slicing an apple for my after-workout snack
  • Opening the peanut butter jar (I hear protein is good for shredded muscles...)
  • Closing the peanut butter jar
  • Getting the chocolate chips down from the really high cabinet (not necessarily good for muscles, but excellent for my psyche...)
  • Quickly holding back 116 pounds of dog from the chocolate chips that I dropped on the floor
  • Putting chocolate chips back in unnecessarily high cabinet
  • Bending my elbows at all
  • Taking my gym clothes off
  • Washing my hair
  • Adjusting the shower head so that it stops spraying water onto the bathroom floor
  • Drying my hair
  • Drying the bathroom floor
  • Putting on mascara
  • Changing my shirt six times before I find a top that makes me look less fat
  • Giving Mike a high-five because I actually got off my ass and went to the gym so that more of my shirts make me look less fat
So yeah... I'm dying... and it will only get worse. But I will continue to go because I WILL beat SOMEONE at cinder block throwing before I die.

What is cinder block throwing?

Exactly what is sounds like.

How classy are we? Photo stolen borrowed from The Human Condition

Needless to say, I came in last. But not for long!! I shall work through my all encompassing upper-body pain and I will become the best damn cinder block thrower y'all have ever seen!

(Or I will at lease beat ONE person... just one... that's all I'm looking for...)

I have to go ice my entire upper-body now...

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