My Gift to You...

Frozen on the Sun

I don't really mind the cold... that much... I guess.

No, what I mind is when the sun is shining, and it looks all pleasant, but it's only 20 degrees outside.

I believe, that if it's going to be so freakin cold, it might as well be cloudy, at the very least.

I don't need snow or rain, I would just appreciate it if it didn't look all pretty and lovely outside, thus luring me out to take the doggies for a w-a-l-k.

See, even though I can look online and see that, yes, it's below freezing, Bonnie assumes that the sun being out means that we should be out and about and tearing up the town. And like a sucker who is wrapped around her tiny little paw, I fall for it, and think maybe it's not actually that cold outside... the sun will make it warmer...

So we set out, and it wasn't terrible... at first.

Then I started to loose feeling in my fingers and toes.

And then the wind started ripping through my clothes and making my whole torso shake like a leaf.

So we hauled it to the ROCK OF GOD, and I let the girls make doggie angels in the snow while I tried to thaw out my thumbs (stupid me, I didn't wear gloves because I assumed that the sun would keep them from turning black and falling off).

Then we booked it back to the house, and I've been hiding under a couple of blankets all day.

No, first I had to wrap the rest of the Christmas presents. Of course, I'm out of wrapping paper and tape, so I had to use newspaper, duct tape, and one of those huge black trash bags that you use for yard work and stuff (it's a pretty big and odd shaped gift...). And I had to wrap them well, because Mike informed me that he has no problem peeking.

Of course, how did he wrap my gift?

He kept the thing in the shipping box, wrapped duct tape around it a dozen times, and left it on the kitchen counter.

And he didn't even have the decency to cover up the big, bold letters on the back that say COAT CARRIER.

Hmm... I wonder what Santa will be bringing me this year...

(OK, that's not completely fair... I actually picked the coat out... but still, is there no such thing as mystery anymore?)

I Know it's Stupid... but I Just Can't Resist

If you've been living under a rock, you should probably watch the real one first:



Good, clean, Twilight fun...

Jim is my Muse (pun!)...

I thought I'd post the video for the song that I CANNOT get out of my head today...

Which is hard, since I don't really know all of the words and my voice doesn't get as high as his...

The dogs keep leaving out the back door, throwing death glares at me.

(Well Bonnie is... Hannah is still in that infatuation stage with her ball...)

Muse |MTV Music

Otherwise, my life has been more of the same.

There is literally nothing very exciting to talk about.

Except that I really have a craving to get the new Blackberry Storm... but in all honesty, I'm pretty positive that I only want it because of Jim's voice on the commercials...


OK... I don't know if there's really anything else I can write about... but at least that awesome song and gorgeous picture are here.

I'll write again if I think of anything, though...

Oh my gosh! Another Blackberry commercial! What are you doin' to me, Halpert?

Hannah is in Love...

In all of the excitement and pandemonium that is Momma returning home (even if I've only been gone for 20 minutes), Bonnie and Hannah have to bring me their toys.

Today, I walked into the house and the dogs went crazy, as usual, but had no toys to bring me.

Which means that I became the chew toy.

Then Hannah brought me a blanket.

That's right, Hannah has turned to bringing Momma linens as a greeting present.

"Where are your toys? Shall we look outside?"

They immediately ran out the dog door. I followed (through the human door), and was greeted by Hannah violently trying to shake the ice and snow off of Boris.

ALL of their toys are buried in the snow.

(I also should mention that this is EXACTLY why Boris is an INSIDE toy. But do Bonnie and Hannah get that? Obviously not.)

"Hannah, drop Boris."

He instantly falls out of her mouth and lies hollow and frozen on the ground. I love him, but he is NOT going to thaw in the house.

Somehow, I can't see a tennis ball anywhere in the backyard.

So I found a couple of new tennis balls stuck in a cabinet somewhere (a secret, emergency stash).

I threw them out onto the floor and now Hannah is completely and utterly gaga over her new tennis balls. She carried both in her mouth at once (not an easy thing), and wouldn't even put them down to get a treat.

Now THAT is true love.

She hasn't stopped playing with them. She's chewing on them, and kissing them, and every so often she'll throw them against the wall and run after them.

If only we could all have something we loved so much.

It's Begining to Look a Lot Like... a Freezer

What a beautiful Monday morning in Colorado!

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, Bonnie is barking...

And it's NEGATIVE FOUR DEGREES.

(Actually, with the wind chill, it's NEGATIVE FIFTEEN).

Yeah, there is NO WAY that Ally B is going out in this cold. Nope, nada, screw it.

Bonnie has been acting out because she wants to go for a W-A-L-K, but how do you explain to a doggie that Momma will have boogers freeze in her nasal cavity if she goes strolling down the block? Not to mention the fact that Bonnie has a nasty habit of pulling Momma down the sidewalk, and when it's frozen solid, that just leads to a Christmas disaster...

So, I will be here. Drinking hot cocoa (with Irish Whisky... after 5 PM, I mean), reading Twilight (again), and contemplating whether or not to drug sweet Bonnie.

If I get bored I will sit at the window and laugh at the poor suckers in their beannies and Uggs who have to wait outside my driveway for the bus to take them to their Fall Finals.

Suckas!

And if you throw that whole Ally-B-Unemployed thing in my face...

Then YOU have to take Bonnie out for a W-A-L-K.

Kudos

At my most recent job, we had an email for us all to send "kudos".

These are verbal high-fives for our co-workers.

You know: "Ally is my most favorite person, she's SUCH a hard worker and this company would just fall apart without her."

(OK, I never got that kudos... actually, I never got any kudos... dammit...)

(That really sucks, especially since they started handing out actual Kudos snack bars...)

These kudos are then read aloud at company-wide staff meetings.

So, on my last day I decided to write a kudos.

I found out at the company party last night that people really enjoyed my kudos, so I've decided to copy it here for the whole internets to enjoy...

Oh, some things you should know.

1) My job was to scan documents... that was IT for the last month or two of my job. Scan, scan, and then scan some more.

2) I name inanimate objects.

3) Darrick is the COO, aka: head-honcho.

I sit here, in my bare and empty cubicle. The calendars have been tossed, useless documents have been sent to the shredder (at least I hope they were useless), and I have managed to carve my initials into my desk. I sit here and I am struck by an immense wave of gratitude. Gratitude to the most important partner that I have had while here. And this partner deserves a huge “kudos”.

And so I say, with all my heart, kudos to Samantha. For those of you who do not know who Samantha is, well boy have you missed out! Samantha is my scanner, my confidant, and above all, my friend. She’s like the kid-sister I never had (nor wanted). She’s a sweet lady, and a little sassy. Like all of us, Samantha has had her good days, and her bad. But always, she is there for me. Even after we’d had a fight, or after a certain manager threw a penny down her throat, or after she choked to death (almost) on a staple, she was still here when I came in the next day. Sitting, waiting, and always willing.

I will miss her. But I know she is in good hands.

And so, goodbye Samantha, and God Speed.

Ally

PS: Although she deserves it, please do not give Samantha an actual Kudos bar… not only is she watching her figure, but I’m pretty sure that she has a gluten allergy.

PPS: Don’t worry, Darrick, I clocked out before I composed this amazing, award-winning-worthy Kudos.