Friday, December 12, 2008


At my most recent job, we had an email for us all to send "kudos".

These are verbal high-fives for our co-workers.

You know: "Ally is my most favorite person, she's SUCH a hard worker and this company would just fall apart without her."

(OK, I never got that kudos... actually, I never got any kudos... dammit...)

(That really sucks, especially since they started handing out actual Kudos snack bars...)

These kudos are then read aloud at company-wide staff meetings.

So, on my last day I decided to write a kudos.

I found out at the company party last night that people really enjoyed my kudos, so I've decided to copy it here for the whole internets to enjoy...

Oh, some things you should know.

1) My job was to scan documents... that was IT for the last month or two of my job. Scan, scan, and then scan some more.

2) I name inanimate objects.

3) Darrick is the COO, aka: head-honcho.

I sit here, in my bare and empty cubicle. The calendars have been tossed, useless documents have been sent to the shredder (at least I hope they were useless), and I have managed to carve my initials into my desk. I sit here and I am struck by an immense wave of gratitude. Gratitude to the most important partner that I have had while here. And this partner deserves a huge “kudos”.

And so I say, with all my heart, kudos to Samantha. For those of you who do not know who Samantha is, well boy have you missed out! Samantha is my scanner, my confidant, and above all, my friend. She’s like the kid-sister I never had (nor wanted). She’s a sweet lady, and a little sassy. Like all of us, Samantha has had her good days, and her bad. But always, she is there for me. Even after we’d had a fight, or after a certain manager threw a penny down her throat, or after she choked to death (almost) on a staple, she was still here when I came in the next day. Sitting, waiting, and always willing.

I will miss her. But I know she is in good hands.

And so, goodbye Samantha, and God Speed.


PS: Although she deserves it, please do not give Samantha an actual Kudos bar… not only is she watching her figure, but I’m pretty sure that she has a gluten allergy.

PPS: Don’t worry, Darrick, I clocked out before I composed this amazing, award-winning-worthy Kudos.

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